[Sunday, August 21, 2005]

(,") OnCe A bAbY, nOw An AnGeL (",)

it's ben a while since I last wrote something here.. It has been a really busy month for me since the start of my clinical duty.. pero masarap at masaya namang magduty.. ang dami dami kong natututunan.. at natutulungan na rin, hopefully, for that matter.. (",)

God is really great.. He has given me the strength I have for the past few weeks.. feeling ko nga wala na akong problema eh.. basta nanadiyan lang Siya, nawawala lahat ng worries and fears ko.. 'coz i believe that He'll be there to make everything all right.. (",)

A few days ago, habang nagdidinner at nakkwentuhan kami ni aye reece about God, I came to realize something.. Na bakit kaya maraming tao na nakikilala lang ang Diyos kapag nagkakaproblema sila or otherwise kapag may sobrang magandang nangyayari sa buhay nila.. I mean, may mga taong maniniwala lang na may Diyos nga kapag may milagrong nangyari sa buhay nila.. Why can'y they believe that God exists just for the mere fact na we are alive.. and that everything around us is beautiful.. ang mga tao, ang kapaligiran.. everything was perfectly crafted.. Isn't that enough for people to think the God exists? that He gave us all this.. and for that, we, is servants, should thank Him for everything.. especially for the unconditional love that He is rendering us.. (",)

Ang galing nga kasi kanina sa church, yun din ang gospel..yun din halos ang topic ng pari.. May nagtaning daw kasi sa kanya ang sabi "Father, bakita pa ba ako magpapasalamat sa Diyos eh wala namang nangyayaring maganda sa buhay ko.. Wala rin namang pagbabago.." Hindi pa man sinasabi ng pari ang naging sagot niya, alam ko na.. For the mere fact na buhay ko iho, dapat mong ipagpasalamat yon.."

Naiinis nga rin me sa sarili ko eh.. Kapag minsan nakakalimutan ko nang magpasalamat sa Kanya ta the end of the day dahil sa sobrang pagod.. Naiisip ko tuloy, "bakit ganon?, buong araw may oras ako para gawin ang lahat ng dapat kong gawin--magduty, pumasok sa class, kumain, gumawa ng papers hanggang 3am--pero ang konting oras para pasalamatan Siya, nakakaligtaan ko pang gawin.. kaya pag may pagakakataon, bumabawi talaga me.. at yun din siguro ang dapat gawin ng lahat.. (",)

~~~~~~~~

Duty ako sa NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) last week.. Nagkaron ako ng pasyente na 2 days old, may Down's Syndrome at congenital heart disease.. Enlarged ang right atrium and ventricle niya at may mitral and tricuspid regurgitation pa siya.. at may pleural effusion pa.. you can just imagine kung gaano karaming tubo ang nakakabit sa katawan niya.. traumatic talaga for a 2-day old baby.. Actually, taumatic talaga sa NICU.. Mga premature babies na nasa incubator tapos sangkatutak na tubo ang nakakabit sa kanila.. Nung unang day nga sobrang shocking talaga.. I super love babies pa naman tapos you'll see themi their worst conditions.. super sad.. tas on my last day there, I saw na wala na yung baby ko, nagexpire na raw sabi ng CI ko.. nagheart failure daw kasi the night before.. I was really really sad.. Kahit nabigyan na ko ng bagong patient, nakatulala talaga ako.. Naatach na rin kasi me dun sa baby.. Ang hirap din talaga maging nurse.. Dapat hindi ka magpadala sa emotions mo.. I miss that baby.. I gave him the best care I could pero what happened was inevitable.. Gusto na talaga siguro siya kunin ni Papa God para makasama na Niya.. Sigurado ako angel na siya ngayon.. (",)

~~~~~~~~

It's pretty surprising how you suddenly view life at a different angle.. It's strange how your priorities suddenly change.. you suddenly feel like from being a young, playful, and easy-go-lucky girl, you find yourself thinking and acting like a mature and responsible youn womam already.. scary no? parang hindi ako..hehe.. I don't really understand why pero parang there was a major turn around in my life that happened just lately.. Yung nga, may priorities changed positions.. tapos I feel like I'm more responsible nowadays.. Eawn ko ba.. Epekto siguro nang malapit nang pag graduate from being a teenager.. Ang bilis ng oras.. Nakakatakot nga minsan eh.. Parang you feel na malapit ka nang tumuntong sa totoong buhay.. at dapat magseryoso na.. hehe.. But of course, I still find time to enjoy.. hindi mawawala yun.. (",)

~~~~~~~~

May bago nga pala akong crush! Ang asawa ko, si Champ Lui-Pio Tan of Hale! Grabeng gwapo! The man of my dreams! hehe! *pictures to follow*

~~~~~~~~

Present expression: Oh my stars!
Present goal: Do well with my hospital duty.. and pass my Math 101 Lab exam..
Currently missing: Irvin and my baby patient.. :c
Last movies I've seen: Wedding Crashers, Bewitched, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory..
Wanting to watch: Must Love Dogs
Currently feeling: Happy and relaxed! (Wala me duty next week!)

~*O*~

(,") mAx (",) shed her cocoon at 6:48:00 PM
Care to leave your thoughts?