(,") a LiFe AdOrNeD WiTh sMiLeS (",)

(,") Picture picture! (",)

2005-09-30T19:53:00.000+08:00

Me and my dear brother!

Wala lang magawa! Hehe!

(,") OnCe A bAbY, nOw An AnGeL (",)

2005-08-21T18:48:00.000+08:00

it's ben a while since I last wrote something here.. It has been a really busy month for me since the start of my clinical duty.. pero masarap at masaya namang magduty.. ang dami dami kong natututunan.. at natutulungan na rin, hopefully, for that matter.. (",)

God is really great.. He has given me the strength I have for the past few weeks.. feeling ko nga wala na akong problema eh.. basta nanadiyan lang Siya, nawawala lahat ng worries and fears ko.. 'coz i believe that He'll be there to make everything all right.. (",)

A few days ago, habang nagdidinner at nakkwentuhan kami ni aye reece about God, I came to realize something.. Na bakit kaya maraming tao na nakikilala lang ang Diyos kapag nagkakaproblema sila or otherwise kapag may sobrang magandang nangyayari sa buhay nila.. I mean, may mga taong maniniwala lang na may Diyos nga kapag may milagrong nangyari sa buhay nila.. Why can'y they believe that God exists just for the mere fact na we are alive.. and that everything around us is beautiful.. ang mga tao, ang kapaligiran.. everything was perfectly crafted.. Isn't that enough for people to think the God exists? that He gave us all this.. and for that, we, is servants, should thank Him for everything.. especially for the unconditional love that He is rendering us.. (",)

Ang galing nga kasi kanina sa church, yun din ang gospel..yun din halos ang topic ng pari.. May nagtaning daw kasi sa kanya ang sabi "Father, bakita pa ba ako magpapasalamat sa Diyos eh wala namang nangyayaring maganda sa buhay ko.. Wala rin namang pagbabago.." Hindi pa man sinasabi ng pari ang naging sagot niya, alam ko na.. For the mere fact na buhay ko iho, dapat mong ipagpasalamat yon.."

Naiinis nga rin me sa sarili ko eh.. Kapag minsan nakakalimutan ko nang magpasalamat sa Kanya ta the end of the day dahil sa sobrang pagod.. Naiisip ko tuloy, "bakit ganon?, buong araw may oras ako para gawin ang lahat ng dapat kong gawin--magduty, pumasok sa class, kumain, gumawa ng papers hanggang 3am--pero ang konting oras para pasalamatan Siya, nakakaligtaan ko pang gawin.. kaya pag may pagakakataon, bumabawi talaga me.. at yun din siguro ang dapat gawin ng lahat.. (",)

~~~~~~~~

Duty ako sa NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) last week.. Nagkaron ako ng pasyente na 2 days old, may Down's Syndrome at congenital heart disease.. Enlarged ang right atrium and ventricle niya at may mitral and tricuspid regurgitation pa siya.. at may pleural effusion pa.. you can just imagine kung gaano karaming tubo ang nakakabit sa katawan niya.. traumatic talaga for a 2-day old baby.. Actually, taumatic talaga sa NICU.. Mga premature babies na nasa incubator tapos sangkatutak na tubo ang nakakabit sa kanila.. Nung unang day nga sobrang shocking talaga.. I super love babies pa naman tapos you'll see themi their worst conditions.. super sad.. tas on my last day there, I saw na wala na yung baby ko, nagexpire na raw sabi ng CI ko.. nagheart failure daw kasi the night before.. I was really really sad.. Kahit nabigyan na ko ng bagong patient, nakatulala talaga ako.. Naatach na rin kasi me dun sa baby.. Ang hirap din talaga maging nurse.. Dapat hindi ka magpadala sa emotions mo.. I miss that baby.. I gave him the best care I could pero what happened was inevitable.. Gusto na talaga siguro siya kunin ni Papa God para makasama na Niya.. Sigurado ako angel na siya ngayon.. (",)

~~~~~~~~

It's pretty surprising how you suddenly view life at a different angle.. It's strange how your priorities suddenly change.. you suddenly feel like from being a young, playful, and easy-go-lucky girl, you find yourself thinking and acting like a mature and responsible youn womam already.. scary no? parang hindi ako..hehe.. I don't really understand why pero parang there was a major turn around in my life that happened just lately.. Yung nga, may priorities changed positions.. tapos I feel like I'm more responsible nowadays.. Eawn ko ba.. Epekto siguro nang malapit nang pag graduate from being a teenager.. Ang bilis ng oras.. Nakakatakot nga minsan eh.. Parang you feel na malapit ka nang tumuntong sa totoong buhay.. at dapat magseryoso na.. hehe.. But of course, I still find time to enjoy.. hindi mawawala yun.. (",)

~~~~~~~~

May bago nga pala akong crush! Ang asawa ko, si Champ Lui-Pio Tan of Hale! Grabeng gwapo! The man of my dreams! hehe! *pictures to follow*

~~~~~~~~

Present expression: Oh my stars!
Present goal: Do well with my hospital duty.. and pass my Math 101 Lab exam..
Currently missing: Irvin and my baby patient.. :c
Last movies I've seen: Wedding Crashers, Bewitched, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory..
Wanting to watch: Must Love Dogs
Currently feeling: Happy and relaxed! (Wala me duty next week!)

:-l WrAp mE iN yOuR eMbRaCe l-:

2005-07-11T19:57:00.000+08:00

I'm sad...

I'm soooo scared...

Scared of the future.. Of all the things that I'll be needing to face.. Of all the things that will happen I want to cry, yet I can't.. 'Coz I know it just won't help.. Only God can change the way things are now.. And I'll keep on believing that He will..

~~~~~~~~

ang hirap pala pag nasa medical profession ka no? may sasabihin sayong sakit tapos automatic tatakbo sa utak mo kung ano ang implication nang sakit na yun, kung ano ang pathophysiology nun, kung paano yun nakukuha, kung malala ba yun o hindi, yung consequences ng pagakakaroon nun, kung paano yun gagaling, kung pwede pa bang gumaling o hindi na, kung mamamatay na ba yung meron nun o mahaba pa ang buhay niya... Ang hirap kasi lahat yun alam mo na kasi napag-aralan niyo na.. sana mas simple na lang ang buhay.. mas mabuti pa nga sigurong wala ka na lang alam.. nakakadepress lang eh..

tulad halimbawa sa ganitong sitwasyon:
Max: sis, alam mo ba.. kawawa yung patient ko.. may necrotizing enterocolitis siya..
Alexa: huh?! Ano yun?

o kaya...
Mommy: Liver CA ang dianosis sa kapatid ng lolo niyo..
Max: huwaaaat?!? naku mi.. kawawa naman siya.. (kasi alam ko agad ang implication ng pagakakaroon ng liver CA..at siyempre sobrang lungkot ko nung nalaman ko yun..)
Bro and Sis: *No reaction*

bakit kaya hindi pwedeng ganto na lang..
Friend: Max, may pneumonia raw yung baby..
Max: huh?! Ano yun?

Eh di sana ang simple ng buhay di ba.. minsan nga mas mabuti pang wala ka na lang alam..

~~~~~~~~

i'm in the middle of a very difficult situation right now.. buti na lang andiyan si God.. He keeps me strong.. sana malagpasan ko tong problema na to.. please pray for me... I'll be really grateful for the prayers..

Wrap me in your embrace, oh God..

"I don't want a wasted life. We only live once and I want to live mine to the fullest. I want to be fruitful and productive. And most specially, I want to make the most out of the life that God lent me. "

Present expression: My Ga!
Current goal: Do well with my community duty (sana pumasa ako!)
Curently missing: Sehl, Irvin, Eds, Gell, Ice, Lors.. (friends, where art thou?!?)
Last movie I've seen: Fantastic Four
Wanting to watch: If Only
Currently feeling: Super scared, worried, and stressed..

(,") I sTePpEd.. BuT mIsSeD.. (",)

2005-07-08T10:52:00.000+08:00

Whew i missed blogging.. this busy schedule i'm on right now keeps me away from the cyberworld most of the time.. classes from 7-12 then 1-5:30 everyday enables me to do nothing else but sit, listen to the lectures, eat, and listen to the lectures yet again.. it's a good thing robinson's ermita exists.. or else, i'm dead.. hehe.. at least i can still stroll around the mall a few minutes after my classes before i go home.. (",)

despite my busy schedule, i still find time to do the major thing that keeps me sane--watching movies.. recent movies i've seen (mr.&mrs. smith, monster-in-law, nasaan ka man, batman begins, war of the worlds, and fantastic four..) were really good.. helps me unwind..(",)

haaay.. exams strike again.. 3 exams next week.. N-105 third exam, N-105 finals, and math 101 first exam.. Max.. isang malaking GOODLUCK sayo..

sabi ko na hindi na dapat ako nagblog eh.. magrereklamo lang naman ako.. hehe.. pero bakit ba? blog ko naman to.. walang pakialaman.. hehe..

Yes, I was misunderstood.. I'm really sorry for what happened.. I didn't mean to hurt anyone.. Specially a very good friend like you..

~~~~~~~~

Present expression: Sosyal! (Sushal!)
Current goal: pass all my exams..huhu..
Curently missing: Sehl, Irvin, Eds, Gell, Ice, Lors.. (friends, where art thou?!?)
Last movie I've seen: Fantastic Four
Wanting to watch: If Only
Currently feeling: Bothered and stressed..

(,") AnG iNiT pO!!!! (",)

2005-05-19T17:21:00.000+08:00

its so damn burning hot!!!

grabe..after classes, I went straight home sa dorm to makeup for the lack of sleep last night because of watching the premiere night of starwars (astig! pwamis! no regrets!)..When I arrived at the dorm, I changed to the most comfortable and lightest clothes I could get from my closet--a very short cotton shorts and spaghetti top..but as soon as I lie down my bed, aba, sweat started seeping its way through my pores..still, I tried to sleep..but after less than 30 minutes of lying there, I can't bear it anymore..The heat was encapsuling my body and the whole room for that matter..I got up, shouted "ang init!!!", got dressed again, snatched my bag, checked my phone, and stormed my way out of the dorm to go to Robinson's place Manila..Yep, I was alone but I didn't mind at all because all I care about during that moment was enter somewhere with air conditioning..after a couple of minutes of window shopping, I got bored so I visited a cybercafe instead (that's where I am now) just to surf the net a bit..I said "a bit" but I'm here for almost 2hrs already..

~~~~~~~~

At last, summer classes are about to end..Last day tomorrow..Whew..I'm looking forward to having a REAL vacation..I promise I'll make the most out of the 2 remaining weeks of summer vacation..I'll sleep, eat, surf the net, gala, read, text, and watch tv as long as I want..That's what making the most of the summer vaction means to me..hehe..(",)

Our comm3 class will have a summer-ender party tomorrow in Tagaytay at Baby Love's place..Sosyal..Bonding moment classmates! (",)

~~~~~~~~

Watched starwars episode 3 last night..with chino, josh, and ice..sosyal! mga addict kami..premiere night talaga ang kinareer namin..The movie was great! Sulit ang puyat at Php140 na bayad..hehe..We spent the night at chino's condo unit..Isa pang sosyal! Yaman! (",)

~~~~~~~~

The heat wave's doing something really unusual to me..I've done two things which I don't usually do on a regular basis: 1) stroll the mall ALONE and 2) wear racer back top at the mall (sa resort lang me naggaganito eh)..Sosyal!

~~~~~~~~

Someone's making me really happy nowadays..Warning: Danger Ahead..hehe..Thanks to you..(",)

Present expression: Sosyal! (Sushal!)
Current goal: make someone quit smoking..hehe..
Curently missing: Sehl and Irvin..and ____....
Last movie I've seen: Star Wars III (Revenge of the Sith)
Wanting to watch: House of Wax and Bikini Open..hehe..
Currently feeling: sleepy

(,") QuOtAbLe QuOtEs (",)

2005-05-06T17:25:00.000+08:00

"Once you learn to die, you learn how to live." ~ Morrie Schwartz (Tuesdays with Morrie)

"I did what no other man has ever done before; I kissed the hands of the person who killed my son."
~ Priam (Troy)

"I loved my son from the moment he opened his eyes to the moment you closed them." ~ Priam (Troy)

"She's all that is not me.. She's my other half and without her, I can never be whole.. Before I met her, I went on well with my life just by being half.. But now, I can never go on with my life without her when I already experienced what it's like to be complete.." ~ Simon (Ashton Kutcher - Guess Who)

"How can a name, not even a real name, hurt this much?" ~ Nicole Kidman (Cold Mountain)

"Don't let go too soon, but don't hang on too long." ~ Morrie Schwartz (Tuesdays with Morrie)

"Death ends a life, not a relationship." ~ Morrie Schwartz (Tuesdays with Morrie)

"It’s been so long since I last wrote something real, so long since I held pen against paper and let pen weep and watch paper bleed, and myself, both." ~ Aaliyah (Things that Lovers Do - Peyups)

"Jamie is just a matter of choice for you but a matter of life or death for me."
~ Kevin (Stained Glass)

~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes we get confused on who/what to follow..Some people say "If you love someone, let him go"..While some people say, "If you love someone, fight for him".. Yeah right, talk about inconsistensies..When somebody asked me, "so what should I really have to do? Do I have to let him go or fight for him?"..It's a good thing I came across one of the quotes mentioned above while reading "Tuesdays with Morrie" (segway, this book's the best! It made me cry..As in! A must read!) Anyway, Morrie mentioned in the book, "Don't let go too soon, but don't hang on too long"..I think this settles it..We hang on a while to try to fight for our love but we should also always know when to let go..Letting go too soon might hurt, but hanging on too long but to no avail will definitely hurt more..And of course, it always depends on the situation, fight for him if he still loves you, but let him go if he doesn't anymore..Fighting for someone who already surrendered even before the battle began is definitely useless..You'll just find yourself getting wounded, bleeding, or worse, dead..

~~~~~~~~

Really getting addicted to movies..The boredom of summer classes keeps me geared up to watch movies and wipes out my allowance clean faster than the running time of "Kingdom of Heaven"..Imagine, out of the 7 movies shown at robinson's place manila, I've seen 6 of them (wedding date, guess who, the jacket, the ring of the nibelungs, the interpreter, sahara) in 1 week only..The latest I saw was Kingdom of Heaven..Seen it at greenbelt..

~~~~~~~~

Astig to...

Anagrams are letters of a word or phrase so
transposed as to make a different word or phrase

Here are some weird anagrams:

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

EVANGELIST:
When you rearrange the letters: EVIL'S AGENT

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME
DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN
ME

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE
Z ' S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters: I ' M A DOT IN
PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER
SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS
ONE

~~~~~~~~

New found friends/gimik buddies:
Pericles Mallari II - Pey-Pey [cute and rich]
Harlan (don't know the surname) - Chiko [cool and jolly]
*met them at eastwood at the basement*

~~~~~~~~

We're going to banahaw on sunday! Field trip sa P.I. 100! I'm beyond excited! Haha! (",)

(,") LoOk WhO's TaLkiNg (",)

2005-04-12T14:11:00.000+08:00

pagcheck ko ng blog page ko, nabasa ko agad ang tag ng bestfriend ko..muntik na raw ako magupdate ng blog..try ko raw, masaya..haha..oo nga..its been a while..

Fruitful (?)/productive (?) things I've done lately: *wink*
~ finished reading "Can you keep a secret?" by sophie kinsella (cool book..really funny..haha..)
~ had my hair cut (its pretty short already..well, way shorter than before obviously..i like it anyway..)
~ accompanied my brother to Manila Doctor's College for his college application (yep..I'm a good sister..hehe..)
~ watched movies: robots, ms. congeniality 2, the pacifier, closer, sahara (I just love watching movies!)
~ watched dvds and vcds: cold mountain, troy (again!), lord of the rings (again!), ms. congeniality 1, my bestfriend's wedding, mean girls, just married, hulk (again!), the prince and me (again!)..Movie marathon ito..Hehe..
~ went to PGH with aye reece and ian for a chest x-ray (for my annual physical exam..)
~ finished my required number of deliveries--actual and assisted--in fabella (yes! 5 actual and 5 assisted deliveries! I'm overwhelmed!)
~ got my classcard in N5-Pharmacology (yep! 2.5! I made it! I won't repeat n5! and thank GOD, third year na ko!)
~ helped a close friend with her lovelife problem (i know..its everyone's problem..)
~ bought a new pair of earrings, sunglasses, and lip gloss (vanity strikes again! hehe!)

Plans for the 5 remaining days of my vacation before summer classes start (waaah!):
~ learn how to drive (hopefully..)
~ overnight swimming with my closest friends (yahoo!!!)
~ enroll for summer classes (aaaargh!)
~ lose weight (wish ko lang!)
~ attend cavite national science high school's recognition and graduation day (yep..goin to visit my dear alma mater..)
~ watch more movies (i'm really getting addicted..)
~ update my blog more often (badtrip ang internet dito samin..)
~ make testimonials for my friends (sana'y sipagin ako..)
~ eat, eat, and eat (lose weight daw oh!)
~ sleep, sleep, and sleep (self-explanatory..)

~~~~~~~~

You'll know max is around when:
1. You see purple stuff everywhere.. (purple wallet, purple fone, purple brush/comb, purple kikay kit, purple mirror, purple CD's, purple key chain, purple notebook, purple pencil/ballpen..etc..)
2. You hear someone laugh so hard that everyone in the vicinity looks at her..hehe..(sorry, can't help it..)
3. You see someone pretty and sexy! (siyempre pa! hehe!)
4. You see someone look at her fone and her mirror every 5 mins..hehe..(exaggeration na po ito..)
5. You hear someone talk about her experiences in the hospital (PGH, Fabella) or talk about her patient's case..(it's sometimes boring but most of the time exciting..hehe..)
6. You hear someone complain about papers and exams and talk about UPCN toxicity..(malala talaga!)
7. You hear someone talk about cute guys..(haha!)
8. You see eds, dangell, lors, joy, ice, and love together..(hehe..basta nandiyan sila, nandon din ako! actually kahit sina eds, gell, at lors lang together, nandun din ako! And when you see aye reece around, definitely, nandon din ako..hehe..)
9. You see someone smile and say "ang cute nung baby!!!" out loud if someone with a baby passes by..(i love babies!)
10. You hear someone talk about movies..(well, basically, when you hear someone "talk" about practically anything..andaldal ko talaga! hehe!)

:-l WhErE aRe My WiNgS? l-:

2005-03-25T11:23:00.000+08:00

Nung isang araw lang, nasa ulap ako.. lumulutang..

ngayon, eto ako, nahuhulog na naman..

teka, kakaakyat ko lang a.. babagsak na naman ba ako?

langya naman oh.. anyone there?
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silence...
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darkness...

oh shit... I'll crash...

(,") pErSoNaL tHoUgHtS (",)

2005-03-18T19:44:00.000+08:00

wala akong magawa sa starbucks nung isang araw kaya nagpicture picture na lang ako.. vanity strikes!

its just friday pero i'm home na!!! saya!!!

ang sarap ng walang pasok.. wala pa kasi kaming duty pag friday kaya wala akong morning class.. yung afternoon classes ko naman na N5-pharmacology at nat sci I ay wala na rin kasi tapos na.. exams na lang.. Yun nga lang may drawback to kasi may duty ako hanggang april 8.. bilis ng karma noh? hehe..

whew.. ilang hinga na lang tapos na ang sem na to.. grabe, imagine, 3rd year na ko?! hindi talaga ako makapaniwala.. parang ang bilis.. oops, wag pala munang assuming.. hindi ko pa pala sure kung makakapagthird year na nga talaga ako dahil baka biglang bagsak pala ako sa N5.. waaah!

at dahil nga walang pasok ngayon, eh di nagpapakasasa ako sa pagnenet buong maghapon.. wala ba naman akong kasama sa bahay kundi ang lola ko.. sina mom at dad nasa work.. at ang dalawa kong kapatid ay nasa school.. lungkot naman.. actually tambak ang dapat kong gawin na schoolwork (nursing health history, P.E. findings, nursing care plan, drug studies, at lab studies, at mag-aral sa exams) pero di ko sinisimulan kahit isa.. haaay.. may saturday at sunday pa naman eh.. hehe..

so dahil nga sa wala akong pasok today ay umuwi na ako kagabi pa lang pagkagaling ko sa UP diliman.. nanghiram kasi me ng books about romantic comedy chuva.. nakahiram ako ng 2.. buti na lang..

3 weeks ago, nakapunta akong dasma from manila mag-isa para dalawin si sehl at imeet ang girlfriend niya.. tas kahapon naman, nakapunta rin me sa diliman mag-isa.. and in both cases, nakauwi rin akong mag-isa.. panalo.. achievement ito.. hudyat na nga yata ito ng pagmamature ko ng todo.. nakakagala at nakakapagbiyahe na ko mag-isa.. hehe..

and speaking of the biyahe.. may kakaibang nangyari kahapon habang nagbabyahe ako papuntang diliman..
sumakay ako sa fx..
Max: manong, magkano po hanggang philcoa? (kahit alam kong Php 25.oo eh tinanong ko pa rin)
Driver: beinte singko ho..
Max: *nagbukas ng wallet at tiningnan ang pera.. may 20 pesos at 4 pesos na barya* (sayang naman, piso na lang Php 25.00 na, hindi pa nagsakto.. di bale.. itong Php 40.00 na lang..)
Max: *iniabot ang Php 40.00* ito po manong, isang philcoa..
Driver: *kinuha yung bayad ko*
Max: *naghihintay ng sukli*
tic.. tic..
tic.. tic..
tic.. tic..
*wala pa ring sukli.. di bale, baka wala pang barya.. baka maya-maya niya ibigay*
tic.. tic..
tic.. tic..
tic.. tic..
*wala pa ring sukli.. sa loob loob ko lang: antagal naman nung sukli ko.. andami nang bagong nagbayad a*
tic.. tic..
tic.. tic..
tic.. tic..
*wala pa ring sukli! si max, napipikon na.. malapit na siya sa philcoa eh*
Max: *sinilip yung lalagyan ng barya nung driver.. nakitang andaming 5 pesos na barya*
Max: *hindi na napigil ang sarili* manong , yung sukli po nung philcoa?
Driver: san ka nga ba galing?
Max: sa pedro gil po..
Driver: *inabutan ako ng 10 pesos*
Max: manong, 40 pesos po yung binigay ko..
Driver: oo, tama nga yan..
Max: *napikon nang sobra pero tumahimik na lang* (sa halagang limang piso ba eh makikipagtalo pa ko.. baka pababain pa ko nung mama.. yaan ko na lang.. pero sa loob loob ko: makakarma rin kayo manong..)
*after like, 2 minutes yata yun, pumito ang isang pulis sa labas.. huli si mamang driver.. bawal pala magsakay at magbaba dun sa isang kanto na binabaan nang isa niyang pasahero*
Driver: shet nahuli ako! *pinarada ang sasakyan at bumaba*
Max: *hindi napigilan ang sobrang pagngiti* ambilis ng karma! haha!
Driver: *sumakay na ulit* nalaglagan ako ng 50.oo pesos dun a! mga buwaya talagang mga pulis yan!
Max: (sa loob loob ko lang: karma lang yan manong.. inutakan mo ko ng limang piso, kinuhanan ka naman nila ng 50.00 pesos.. abunado ka pa tuloy ng 45.00.. haha! ambilis ng karma!)

Moral lesson: do not do unto others what you don't what others to do unto you.. hahaha!

panalo di ba.. hehe..(",)

~~~~~~~~

nagpaburn ako ng cd.. dalawa.. at nakuha ko sila kahapon.. at kasalukuyan kong pinapatugtog.. astig kasi lahat ng gusto kong kanta eh nandon.. ang saya talaga! eto yung mga kanta:

CD 1:
1. Jeepney - Sponge Cola
2. One and Only You - Parokya ni Edgar
3. Tulad ng Dati - The Dawn
4. Suntok sa Buwan - Session Road
5. Masaya - Bamboo
6. Sige - 6 Cycle Mind
7. Crazy for You - Sponge Cola
8. KLSP - Sponge Cola
9. Same Ground - Kitchie Nadal
10. Wag na Wag Mong Sasabihin - Kitchie Nadal
11. Hari ng Sablay - Sugarfree
12. Bulong - Kitchie Nadal
13. You'll be Safe Here - Rivermaya
14. Noypi - Bamboo
15. Run - Kitchie Nadal
16. 214 - Rivermaya
17. Balisong - Rivermaya
18. Mata - Mojofly

CD 2:
1. Make Me Whole - Amel Larrieux
2. Dream of Me - Kirsten Dunst
3. You First Believed - Hoku
4. Cool With You - Jennifer Love Hewitt
5. If the Feeling is Gone - Kyla
6. True - Ryan Cabrera
7. Wherever You Are - South Border
8. Fallin - Janno Gibbs
9. Stick Around - Azure
10. The Art of Letting Go - Mikaila
11. For You - Kenny Latimore
12. Only Time - Enya
13. Angels Brought Me Here - Guy Sebastian
14. Love Moves in Mysterious Ways - Nina
15. Without You Here - Finch *nagkamali yung nagburn.. hindi to yung gusto ko* :c
16. Out of Reach - Gabrielle
17. My Boo - Usher feat Alicia Keys
18. You Won't See Me Crying - Passage
19. Sway - Bic Runga

ayan.. kaya lang hindi kumpleto yan.. kasi 20 songs yung nilagay ko eh hindi na yata kasya.. dun sa 1st CD, hindi nasama yung Lunes (Sponge Cola) at Mr. Clay (Bamboo).. dun naman sa second, yung Give my Love (Edward Chun).. Anyway, masaya pa rin ako.. hehe..(",)

(,") NikKi + aJa = BaTaNg ViViAn (",)

2005-03-01T19:32:00.000+08:00

nasa jollibee kmi kanina ng tropa.. may nakakatawang nangyari.. at hindi ako makamove on hanggang ngayon.. eto yung nangyari..

Setting: Jollibee.. Robinson's place Ermita.. ground floor..
Time: 7:00pm
Situation: Kami nina gell, joy, at ayereece ay nasa isang table.. sa katabi naming table may anim na tao--apat na bata, isang yaya, at isang nanay.. kakatapos lang namin kumain nang biglang bumulong si joy..

Joy: *whisper* ui, tingnan niyo yung batang nakapink sa kabilang table kamukha nung batang vivian sa goin bulilit..
Max, gell, aye: *tumingin sa bata* in chorus: oo nga!!!
Max: grabe kamukhang kamuka niya! Wait lang.. ano ba kayo?! siya nga yun!!!
Gell: Haller max, ambata niya.. hindi siya yun.. kamukha lang..
Aye: oo nga, masyado siyang maliit.. medyo malaki na yung nasa goin bulilit..
Joy: *no comment.. inaanalyze pa kung siya nga yun o hindi*
Max: Ano ba kayo?! kamukhang kamukha niya! Haller! parehong may bangs! at ang ngipin! pareho sila ng ngipin! Siya nga yun!
Gell: para kasing ambata niya pa para umarte.. pero kamukha nga niya talaga.. tanungin mo kaya pag dumaan..
Bata 1 (girl): *nakatingin na samin kasi ang ingay na namin*
Gell: buti pa mag-aja tayo sabay sabay pag tumingin siya! tingnan natin kung ngingiti!
Joy: oo nga.. grabe kamukha niya talaga!
Max: Eh kasi nga siya yun! Tanungin na kasi natin!
Gell: Go max! tanungin mo na.. kelangan dian ng nursing skills..
Max: Haller.. what's the connection?
Joy: oo nga max.. kelangan ng nursing skills in dealing with children..
Max: o sige pag dumaan ulit..
Gell: ano ka ba, hindi na dadaan yun..
Max: eh anong gagawin ko? pupuntahan ko dun? nakakahiya kaya sa nanay niya..
Gell: wala naman yung nanay eh.. yaya yun.. nakapila yung nanay sa counter.. bumibili ng food..
Bata 2 (guy): *tumingin samin.. nakangiti*
Bata 2 (guy): *kinausap yung batang vivian* ui nikki, tinitingnan ka yata nila (kami un!)...
Gell: shet! nikki ang pangalan.. nikki nga yata pangalan nung nasa goin bulilit..
Max: sabi sayo eh! siya nga yata talaga yun! pag tumingin ulit..
Bata 2 (guy): *tumingin ulit, nakangiti pa rin*
Max: *kumaway.. kinawayan yung bata with matching smile*
Bata 2 (guy): nikki! pansinin mo naman yung mga tao!
Nikki (batang vivian): *tumingin samin, nakangiti*
Gell: kaw ba si aja?
Max, joy, aye: *tawanan*
Max: kaw ba yung nasa goin bulilit?
Nikki (batang vivian): *tumango*
Max: *pasigaw* sabi sa inyo eh!!!
*tawanan kaming lahat*
nang paalis na kami..
Gell: sino may phone na may cam? picturan natin..
Max: haller..wala..ngayon pa raw nawala si eds..naku naman..sino na lang may ballpen? pa-autograph tayo..ang cute nia!!!
Joy: bata pa siya..hindi pa nakakapagsulat yan..
*tumayo kami at lumapit sa table nila*
Max: kaw ba si batang vivian? ang galing mo sa going bulilit promis (haha! feeling close ako!)
Gell: isang aja nga dian!
Nikki (batang vivian): aja! *with matching hand movements mimicking vivian*
*tawanan ulit kami*

panalo talaga yung experience namin na yun..astig si nikki..sobrang gusto ko kasi siya sa goin bulilit..panalo yung paggaya niya kay vivian..sayang wala kaming proof na nakita namin siya..at nang palabas na kami nang rob, saka ko lang narealize na "haler? hindi pa marunong magsulat eh nakakaarte na nga! Duh!".. sayang talaga.. bat ba ako nakinig kay joy.. sana nakapag-paautograph ako dun sa bata.. haaay.. ang saya ng araw na to! hehe!

bakit nacocornihan ako sa mga nagpapa-autograph kina piolo, diet, etc.. pero pag sa bata hindi? haha.. topak talaga ako.. (",)

:-l cOnFuSeD l-:

2005-02-26T00:33:00.000+08:00

someone had just asked me out..

someone had just asked me if i could be his girlfriend..

the problem is, i don't know what to say.. i don't know what to do..

it's not that i don't like him because if i really don't, i could've said "no" right away..

but the thing is, i told him to give me a week or so to think it over..

we were dating.. for like weeks already.. and whenever we go out, i had so much fun.. he's really easy to get along with.. he's funny and everything seems so light whenever we're together..

maybe i like him.. but loving him is another thing.. i don't think i love him yet and basically, i don't want to enter a relationship without the element of love.. because i know, that no matter how hard we try, if only one is loving the other, things won't work out..

he told me that he's falling in love with me.. he even used the words "mahal na kita"--with such difficulty if you ask me--to convey his feelings.. i'm not sure if i believed him.. it's not that he was not sincere when he told me because i felt that he was.. it's just that, LOVE is something so precious for me that i don't think it is possible to fall in love with someone in such a short span of time..

why didn't i say "no"? maybe because there's a part of me that wants to try the relationship out.. or maybe because i don't want to decide right away and regret my decision in the end.. or maybe because i'm afraid that if i say "no", i'll completely lose someone who has somehow become special to me already..

i am confused.. and in 3 days time, i have to come up with a decision.. haaay.. i don't know what to do.. wish me luck..

:O WaAaAaH!!!!! O:

2005-02-22T12:57:00.000+08:00

bakit kaya pag tipong sobrang wasted ka dahil sa duty.. wala ka kahit face powder man lang.. nakaponytail ang buhok mo.. at nagsusumigaw and mga eyebags mo eh saka naman biglang biglang magpapakita ang crush mo!!!! kakausapin ka pa!!! Duh!!!

samantalang kapag pusturang pustura ka at halos humaba ang leeg mo kakahanap sa kanya para lang makita ka niyang maganda eh wala siya!

pag minamalas ka nga naman!

nagagawa ako ng NCP ngayon.. sabi ko hindi ako magnenet dahil sayang sa oras.. may hinahabol pa akong klase which starts in 5 mins.. pero dahil sa nangyari kani kanina lang, nasabi ko na lang "hindi ako papayag na hindi i-blog to!!!"

nakakabadtrip!!!

gusto kong sumigaw!!!

gusto kong umiyak.. )=

(,") LoSiNg fAiTh (",)

2005-01-25T21:23:00.000+08:00

i came across this literary work sa bulletin board ng friendster.. nakarelate daw ako? hehe..joke lang.. nagandahan lang talaga me.. ang galing.. lam ko yung pain na tinutukoy niya.. hindi man siguro ganon kaintense yung naramdaman ko, still, i know it.. galing daw po to sa peyups.. read on.. (",)

LOSING FAITH

It's over. Finally, I can breathe. I can have a life again, something apart from always trying to be there for you. I can stop trying to understand, trying to make you see that we can work through this, that our love is worth fighting for. All the uncertainty, all the confusion, all the pain of not knowing where I went wrong, is finally over. Damn you for putting me through all that. Damn you for taking my belief in love, my belief in forever, my belief in you, and handing them back to me broken, saying you cant deal with them anymore. You will never know how much you hurt me by just giving up, you will never know how much you scared me from loving as much as I loved you ever again.

I did not deserve to be hurt that way. And you didnt deserve my trust.

So much wasted emotion. I had so much more tenderness to give, I could have stayed with you longer, but you didn't think it would be worth our while. I know you still love me, as I know that you were too damned scared to be vulnerable. And I was stupid enough to hope I can help you conquer that fear, or live with it, so that you can take the risk of letting me into your heart. Not anymore. You would rather hurt me than let down your guard.

I loved you. Honestly, bravely, intensely I loved you. But it wasnt enough.

I hate the fact that we could have saved us, but we didn't. We simply gave up something rare, something that doesn't come along everyday. I hate the emptiness. I hate the regrets.

But the worst thing about all this is the simple, stupid, pathetic truth that I miss you. I miss you. I knew losing you would be painful, but pain, I can deal with. I can cope with the sharp, intense rush of emotion that cuts like a knife, but is relieved somehow by tears and is dulled by the passage of time. What I didn't expect was the sadness the steady, lingering hurt that comes with the realization that you will never again look at me as if I'm precious, special, and infinitely cherished, you will never again call me "max ko" with the tender amazement that I really am yours. It's the constant heaviness that haunts me and makes me wonder if I'll ever be whole again without you, of if I'll always mourn the part of me that died with our love. I miss you. And I'm to be totally honest with myself, I'll have to admit that I'd do anything, give everything even go through all the confusion again, just to find a way for you to keep believing in us. But theres no chance of that.

Some goodbyes are final. I have a feeling this one is. :(

wahuhu.. ang sad di ba.. tanong ulet, nakakarelate daw ako? slight.. ahehehe.. siguro ganito, bring the intensity two levels lower.. yun.. swak.. nakarelate ako..

tnx nga pala to ernz for posting this sa friendster..hehe.. (",)

:-O AyOkO nA!!! O-:

2005-01-15T15:25:00.000+08:00

hantoxic!!!!!!!!!!!

Papers:
1. Initial Database - 31 pages (napasa ko na)
2. Problem sheet - 5 pages (napasa ko na)
3. Nursing Care Plan - hindi ko pa napapass..siguradong marami na naman to..due on wednesday
4. Teaching Plan - hindi ko pa rin napapass..due on wednesday..
5. Reflection paper - 5 pages..due on monday..
6. and many more papers to come! Waaah!

Exams:
1. January 7 (friday) - N5-Pharmacology (shetness..forget about this exam!)
2. January 10 (monday) - N11 - Nursing Foundations II (lecture)
3. January 11 (tuesday) - N11- Nursing Foundations II (written lab)
4. January 13 (thursday) - N12 - Community Health Nursing (MCN)
5. January 15 (saturday-ngayon) - N11 - Nursing Foundations (practical lab)
6. and many more exams to come! Waaah!

Duty:
1. Every wednesday, 7am-12pm
2. Every thursday, 7am-12pm
3. Every friday, 7am-12pm
4. and many more clinical duties to come! Waaah!

gusto kong umiyak.. gusto kong magcollapse.. gusto kong itigil ang oras.. sa bilis ng pag-ikot ng mundo at sa dami ng dapat gawin, pati paghinga nakakalimutan ko na..

pag nagrarant ako sa friends ko about toxicity, lagi nilang sinasabi "ang dami mo namang ginagawa, natutulog ka pa ba?" sagot ko, "tulog? ano yun?"

nagsend sakin ng text message si dangell kagabi, sabi dun:
"it drives you crazy, it makes you mad..it makes you jealous, it makes you sad..it causes you sleepless nights, it even breaks your heart..Now come to think of it, is it healthy to FALL IN LOVE?"

sabi ko sa kanya, may sarili akong version niyan:
"it drives you crazy, it makes you mad..it causes you sleepless nights, it makes you sad..Now come to think of it.. is it healthy to be A NURSING STUDENT?"

ang ironic lang isipin na walang tinuturo samin ang mga prof namin kundi health promotion at wala kaming ginawa sa clients namin kundi maghealth teaching tas kami mismong mga nursing students ng UP ay not healthy?!

buti na lang it does not make me jealous and does not break my heart.. because i've had enough of those.. ayoko na talaga..

isang malaking GOODLUCK sa akin at sa mga kaklase ko..

~~~~~~

ang dami na ngang problema, umeepal pa to.. isang taong dapat na unang tumutulong sayo pag sobrang ayaw mo ng mabuhay, siya pa tong isa sa mga pinoproblema mo.. ang sakit sa ulo.. sakit sa puso.. duh, ang corny..

I miss my sleep.. so much.. i think i'll get some soon.. before i engage myself to making my seemingly endless papers.. adios..

the song i love at the moment:

If The Feeling Is Gone
by Kyla

If the feeling is gone
please don't pretend that you still love me
I can see it in your eyes
and it hurts to admit it
I can tell that the feeling is gone

All i ask is just a little honesty
Though i know that you're not coming back to me
You know i'll do anything to make you stay
But i just have to let you know
If the feeling is gone

There is sadness in your smile
Though it try to conceal it
I can tell if the feeling is gone

All i ask is just a little honesty
Though i know that you're not coming back to me
You know i'll do anything to make you stay
But i just have to let you go
If the feeling is gone

All i ask is just a little honesty
Though i know that you're not coming back to me
You know i'll do anything to make you stay
But i just have to let you go
I just have to let you go
I just have to let you go
If the feeling is gone....

Stay...

(,") I'm BaCk! (",)

2004-12-27T13:38:00.000+08:00

hanu ba yan..kung kailan nagchristmas break eh lalo yata akong nawalan ng time na magblog..its been, like what, a month? since the last time I posted something here.. waaah! namiss ko talaga ang pagbblog.. sobrang naging busy kasi.. sunod sunod ang lakad dahil sa umuwi lahat ng mga pinsan ko from the states.. dito sila nagspend ng christmas.. napapasubo nga ako ng english dito eh..hehe..

haay..bakit ang sarap mabuhay? hehe ang corny ko..wala lang..ang saya saya ko kasi sobra..after so many months, ngayon na lang ulit ako sumaya ng ganito..sabi ko dun sa previous post ko, "don't let anyone hold your happiness in their hands"..mukhang kakainin ko yata yun coz I think my happiness is slipping away from my grip..within reach pa rin naman..kaya nga me masaya di ba? sana naman hindi siya mawala..nakakatakot eh..

dati, nageenjoy ako sa mga nangyayari sa buhay ko.. pasweet lang ng pasweet.. pero iba pala talaga ang saya kapag maayos ang takbo ng buhay mo.. iba ang SAYA.. I'm just really so happy now na tipong wala na me mahihiling pa..

naku..toxic na talaga sa pasukan..kung pwede ko lang itigil ang panahon, ginawa ko na..now na..ayoko nang pumasok!!!!

nagreunion kami (batch 2003) nung december 20..asttteeeggg.. walang masyado nalasing.. buong batch lang yata.. hehe.. andami nga nangyari eh.. hirap talaga pag lasing ang mga tao..kagulo to the max..saka na kwento..mahal na masyado ang babayaran ko dito sa computer center..

haaay..ang sarap mabuhay! and i am sooo happy! kaya lang i miss my friends.. tsaka siya.. :-( sana may get together ulit bago magpasukan..i doubt kung magkakaron pa kami ng time magbond pag may pasok na ulit eh.. toxic kasi lahat ng tao, balita ko.. wahuhu..

picture of someone so happy.. ahehehe.. (",)

merry christmas to everyone!!!! Luv u all!!! (",)

(,") hApPiNeSs iS a ChOiCe (",)

2004-12-01T18:26:00.000+08:00

sabi sa isang qoute na nabasa ko habang kinakalikot ko ang fone ni aye reece:

"...don't let anyone hold your happiness in their hands.. hold it in yours so it will always be within your reach.. staying happy, is not merely an emotion.. it's also a choice..."

napaisip ako.. oo nga no? karamihan kasi sa mga tao ngayon, nagdedepend ang kasiyahan sa ibang mga bagay or tao.. hindi natin maiiwasan yun siyempre.. pero hindi naman ibig sabihin na hindi tayo pwedeng sumaya ng wala sila.. choice natin yun.. kaya nating maging masaya kung gugustuhin natin..

isipin mo na lang, kapag hinayaan mo hawakan niya ang kaligayahan mo, pag umalis siya, dadalhin niya yun paalis.. o kaya halimbawa pag nakadepend ang kasiyahan mo sa isang bagay, pag nawala mo yun, dala rin nun ang kasiyahan mo.. pano ka pa ulit sasaya di ba? take a good grip at your happiness.. yung tipong kahit mag-isa ka lang at hawak mo siya, masaya ka..

madulas ang kaligayahan.. madaling mabitiwan or makuha ng iba.. minsan voluntary mo ibibigay, minsan naman aagawin sayo, minsan ipagpipilitan mong kunin niya.. ang maganda sigurong gawin, kung i-eentrust mo ang happiness mo sa iba, siguraduhin mong ibabalik niya sayo yun bago siya umalis.. o kaya hindi na siya aalis kailan man para within your reach pa rin ang happiness mo.. pero ang pinakamaganda na sigurong gawin eh humanap ka ng taong hindi kukunin ang kaligayahan mo sayo kahit kelan.. dahil makita ka lang niyang masaya, masaya na rin siya..

mag-ingat ka rin pag binigay mo sa isang tao ang kaligayahan mo tas all of a sudden, babawiin mo na lang.. baka hindi mo namamalayan or baka hindi mo alam na yung kaligayahan niya eh hinalo na niya sa kaligayahan mo.. kaya sa pagbawi mo ng kaligayahan mo at pag alis mo, dala mo rin ang kaligayan niya..(",)

~~~~~~

hindi na ako badtrip.. hehe.. pero hindi rin ako masayang masaya.. naisip ko lang, awayin ko man ang buong mundo at pakunutin ng todo ang mukha ko sa kakasimangot eh wala rin namang mangyayari.. ako lang ang mahihirapan.. papangit pa ko.. wag na no! (",)

nasolusyunan ko na ang pagkabadtrip ko.. pero ang katamaran ko, hindi pa rin.. tulad ngayon, may report kami bukas sa N12 pero nandito ako at nagbblog.. napakalala ko na talaga..

magreretake ako ng practical exam sa friday kasama ang 35 ko pang mga kaklase.. pero isang station lang naman.. yung anthropometric measurements.. siguro 4 minutes lang ako mageexam.. pero ang masaklap dun, mageexam pa rin ako.. isinabay pa sa N5 exam.. nakakaloka na talaga ito..

Lord, natutunan ko na po ang lesson ko.. promise next time hindi na ako tatakas sa return demo ng laboratory kahit gaano pa ako kagutom.. para madaanan ko lahat ng stations at hindi mangapa/mabokya pag exam.. sorry po talaga.. di na mauulit.. promise.. (",)

>:-( BaDtRiP aKo!!! )-:<

2004-11-29T13:10:00.000+08:00

I AM SO BUMMED!

nandito ako sa computer center ngayon.. nagdedetox.. katatapos lang ng pamatay na practical exam namin sa N12 kanina.. lintek na exam yan.. bakit naimbento pa.. badtrip talaga.. pag daw bumagsak kami dun sa isang exam na yun, uulitin na namin ang N12 dahil test raw ng competency yun.. imagine, failing 1 exam = failing the whole course?! Langya talaga.. tas binigyan ako ng 2 out of 12 ng isang preceptor sa isang station sa exam kanina.. sino ba naman ang papasa?!

walang pasok ngayon ang iba, kami nag-exam..
nasa cavite lahat ng ng friends ko, ako nandito sa manila..
anlamig lamig ng panahon at naulan sa labas..
nakakuha ako ng 2 out of 12 sa isang station sa exam kanina..
wala akong kasabay magdidinner mamaya..
magreresearch ako dahil may report kami sa thursday..
may exam sa friday sa N5-phramacology..
pupunta kaming malabanan bukas..
after non mag--iinjection kami sa isa't isa!!!! (horrors!!!)

tama nga ang kasabihang "when it rains, it pours".. sana kainin na lang ako ng computer na pinagtatypan ko.. now na..

(,") TrAnSiTiOnS.. cHaNgEs.. (",)

2004-11-28T14:34:00.000+08:00

haha.. lakas ng loob ko magblog..may exam ako bukas.. pasado alas tres na hindi pa ako nag-aaral.. eh pano naman kasi, antagal ko nang hindi nakakapagblog.. namimiss ko na ito..

toxicity strikes.. lupeet ng college namin (College of Nursing).. habang ang ibang colleges at schools ay nageenjoy ngayon dahil long weekend (walang pasok bukas kasi holiday), kami naman, shinorten ang weekend namin.. may pasok kami kahapon (saturday), makeup class.. at may exam kami bukas! walangya! hindi basta may pasok, may EXAM! how much worse can my life get? much worse if you weren't there..hehe.. text message yan.. ang corny ko talaga.. pano kasi, bitter ako dahil may pasok kami bukas!!! pinaiksi na nga ang weekend namin dahil ngayon lang kami walang pasok, nilaan pa itong araw na ito para mag-aral para sa exam bukas!!! Grrrr! Bitter! Bitter! Bitter!

~~~~~~

andaming nangyari lately.. at sobrang bilis ng mga pangyayari na tipong sa sobrang bilis eh hindi ko na namalayan na nangyari pala.. ni hindi ko man lang nga nanamnam at naenjoy.. pakiramdam ko, nanaginip lang ako..

pero masaya ako ngayon kasi naayos ko na ang mga gulong pinagdaan ko.. malinaw na ang lahat.. yun lang naman ang gusto kong mangyari eh.. yung malinaw.. hindi na ako nangangapa.. ambait talaga ni LORD.. He never fails to make me feel na nandyan lang talaga lasi Siya pag feeling ko ang gulo na ng buhay ko.. lagi Niya akong tinutulungang ayusin yun..(",)

dahil nga sa hindi ako madalas nakakapagblog at dahil sa 9 1/2 hours na lectures an inuupuan ko araw araw, naisipan ko na lang isulat sa spare notebook ko yung mga nararamdaman ko at mga naiisip ko whenever i feel like doing it.. lalo na pag sobrang antok na antok na ako sa lectures o kaya pag overwhelmed ako ng emotions.. it really helps.. kahit papaano, feeling ko may laging handang makinig sa mga kadaramahan ko.. nang hindi nagrereact at nang hindi nagsasawa..

tama yung sinabi ni Dumbledore sa Harry Potter.. minsan sobrang daming thoughts sa brain natin na hindi niya yung kayang i-contain lahat.. kumbaga sa container/kahit-anong-lalagyan, napupuno rin pag sobrang dami na.. nag-ooverflow rin.. kaya nga kinailangan niya ng pensieve.. para hugutin yung mga thoughts sa ulo niya at dun temporarily i-store..para nga naman walang nawawala.. parang feelings and emotions din yan, minsan pag overwhelmed ka, kailangan mo ng outlet.. usually tao ito.. a friend.. pero minsan, nahihiya ka ring magspill sa kanila dahil may mga sarili rin silang problema, ayaw mo namang dagdagan pa.. baka sila naman ang mag-overflow..

kaya naging outlet ko yung notebook ko nitong mga nakaraang araw.. pag binabasa ko nga ulit ngayon, natatawa na ako.. meron pala talagang emotions na sobrang saglit mo lang nararamdaman.. pag binalikan mo na, sasabihin mo, "naramdaman ko ba talaga yun? naisip ko ba talaga yun?"

Eto isang example ng kabitteran ko nung isang araw..hehe.. an entry from my notebook:

November 25, 2004 Thursday 04:31pm
Class: Wala Place: Rob Foodcourt

Bat kaya may mga taong dadaan lang talaga sa buhay mo para manggulo? Maayos na ang buhay mo.. Masaya ka na.. Everything's in place.. and yet, ayan siya.. daan lang saglit para guluhin ang masaya at maayos mong buhay.. after a while, aalis din agad.. Lintek.. ang hindi mo lang maintindihan, minsan lang siya dumaan, pero naggulo niya ng todo ang buhay mo.. at di mo alam kung pano ulit siya aayusin.. Leche talaga..

o diba ang bitter? hehe.. nakakapikon.. nung binasa ko ulit siya ngayon, natawa talaga ako.. parang hindi ako eh..(",)

~~~~~~

anyway, i managed to reaarange my very organized (yuck!) and happy life last night.. hehe.. akala ko mahirap, madali lang pala.. actually hindi lang last night, nasimulan siyang maayos nung umuwi ako kahapon mula manila.. narealize ko kasi na kahit ano palang mangyari, may mga bagay na talagang hindi nagbabago.. ang im happy to have realized that..(",)

ang dapat ko na lang solusyunan ngayon ay ang katamaran kong mag-aral.. shetness talaga.. nagbblog pa rin ako eh may exam ako bukas.. kapag bumagsak ako sa exam na yun eh talagang magugulo to the maximum level ang buhay ko! haaay.. makapag-aral na nga..(",)

share ko lang tong qoute na to.. sobrang sweet and touching:

"minsan natanong mo ko.. kung sayo lang ba talaga ko.. hindi kita sinagot.. naisip ko lang kasi.. araw-araw mong tinitingnan ang kamay mo.. bat hindo mo makitang hawak mo ang puso ko?.."
sender:
(^_^) cLuTz
sent:
10:02:09pm
17-11-2004

ciao! (",)

(,") tHe FuN oF uSiNg SuN (",)

2004-11-15T15:07:00.000+08:00

grabe..it has been a very long week.. nung friday, may exam na kami agad sa N12 (maternal and child nursing).. akalain mo yun? first week of classes, may exam na agad?! Shetness talaga.. buti na lang medyo ok lang naman yung exam.. kung hindi, baka nabokya ako sa buena mano ng mga exams (and trust me, marami sila) ngayong sem na to..

araw-araw, 7-5:30 ang class ko with only lunch break as a definite vacant in between.. the rest, mga prof na ang megdedecide kung bibigyan ba kami ng break o lelecturan kami ng derederechong limang oras hanggang mag-apoy ang mga upuan namin at hanggang malugaw ang mga utak namin..*sigh*

tama na nga ang pag-rarant about school.. wala na rin naman tayong magagawa eh.. ganyan talaga ang buhay..

~~~~~~~~

isa na nga rin pala ako sa padami nang padaming suncellular subscribers.. at sa ngayon, halos buong tropa na yata eh nakaSUN na! astig kasi.. kaw ba naman, libreng tawag at text 24/7.. eto nga habang tinatype ko 'to ay kausap ko ang isang friendly friend ko.. best way to keep in touch di ba? kailangan lang talaga matyaga ka magpipindot hanggang makakontak.. lalo na pag peak hours.. pero trust me, its worth it naman..hehe..

ang nakakatawa pa sa SUN, habang kausap mo ang isang kaibigan at nasa peak kayo ng pagtatawan, pagkukwentuhan, pagchichismisan ay biglang may ibang taong papasok sa linya nio.. parang ganito..
joy: lam mo ba max, kausap ko siya kanina at nagtanong na naman siya tungkol dun sa girl! nag-hi pa nga eh! Landi talaga nun! hahahahahaha!
max: talaga? hahahahahahahaha! kanina? feeling talaga yun kahit kailan! tingin mo ba papatulan siya nung girl? hehehe!
joy: ewan ko b----
*brrr..brr..(biglang gugulo ang line)*
max: hello joy?
max: joy?
stranger(guy): hello?
max: hello? joy? kaw ba yan? *naguguluhan na*
stranger(guy): hello? sino to?
max: uhm, si max.. kaw sino ka po? *as in sobrang gulong-gulo na sa nangyayari*
stranger(guy): hello? si dino..sinong max?
*toot..toot..toot.. (biglang busy ang line)*
max: *tumawag uli kay joy..at makalipas ang ilang libong beses ng pagdidial..*
max: hello joy! anong nangyari?! bat nawala ka? naging ibang tao ang kausap ko! boses lalaki! para akong minumulto!
joy: ako rin! nag-iba ang kausap ko! babae pa rin pero iba na talaga.. si martha daw siya..tas bigla na lang niya binaba..ang weird!

at matapos ang ilang minutong pagmuni-muni at pagdidiscuss kung ano ang nangyari at kung pano nangyari yun, naisip namin ni joy na baka nga nagcross ang line at nagkapalit palit kami ng kausap..baka magsyota pa yun..hehe..

ganon ang naging reaksyon namin ni joy nang una naming maecounter ang ganong incident habang nakikipag-usap sa fone gamit ang SUN na sim.. pero di naglaon, nasanay na ako sa mga ganong pagkakataon.. dahil matapos ang pangyayaring yun ay marami pang sumunod.. isang version pa nga lang yun eh.. meron pang ganito:
1st attempt:
tatawag ka sa kaibigan mo tas may sasagot, lalaki, eh babae yung tinatawagan mo..
2nd attempt:
tas ibababa mo at tatry mo ulit tumawag sa kanya.. may sasagot ulit, bata naman, mga 6yrs old siguro yun.. tas ibababa mo ulit kasi 18yrs old na yung taong tinatawagan mo..
3rd attempt:
tas try mo ulit tumawag, nanay naman ang sasagot, sisigawan ka dahil akala niya ikaw yung anak niyang hindi pa umuuwi.. naturally, ibababa mo na naman.. masabon ka pa..
4th attempt:
tas tatawag ka ulit.. siyempre matyaga ka dahil kating kati na ang dila mo at gusto mo na talaga makipagkwentuhan sa kaibigan mo.. tas may sasagot.. babae.. boses 18yrs old at kaboses nga ng friend mo.. mukhang tama na to.. siya na nga yata ang kaibigang tinatawagan mo.. titili ka na sana at sisismulan na ang kwento mo nang bigla niyang sasabihing:
girl: hello? hello vanessa! musta?
kaso nga lang max ang pangngalan ko..wahuhuhu..

ang saya di ba? dahil nga sa mga pangyayaring yan, ang dami ko nga tuloy naging bagong kakilala..hehe.. gimik yan ng SUN para raw magkakilakilala ang mga suncellular subscribers.. parang friendster ba.. ang tagline: meet new friends while chatting on the fone with your old friends! diba astig?

anyway, sa mga iba pang naka-SUN diyan, text or tawag nio ko! o kaya bigay nio sakin ang # nio at itetext or tatawag ko kayo.. libre naman di ba? here's my #: 09224852977

text text! (",)

),= Sad aNd HaPpY (",) aT tHe SaMe TiMe..

2004-11-07T20:18:00.000+08:00

i just finished reading the book entitled "by the river piedra i sat down and wept"..

the story was nice and touching.. combination of love story, philosophy, and religion..

it was about sacrificing, taking risks, and giving up everything in the name of love.. or if i may say, in the name of your true love.. like what Jesus did when he sacrificed Himself to save us from our sins.. and most specially, like what God did when he sent His only begotten Son to free us from our wrongdoings..

basically, the book taught me a lot of things..

as i read the book from page to page, i can't help but underline some passages (something that i don't do with my other books, except from academic ones of course) that i really liked.. those that presented deeper meaning beyond what the words itself state.. and surprisingly, i marked the very first paragraph of the story.. meaning that the first paragraph already caught my attention and my interest.. here's how it goes:

"By the River Piedra I sat down and wept. There is a legend that everything that falls into the waters of this river--leaves, insects, the feathers of birds--is transformed into the rocks that make the riverbed. If only I could tear out my heart and hurl it into the current, then my pain and longing would be over, and I could finally forget."

i really don't know why but as i was reading the passage, i felt the pain of the main character--Pilar.. she was right, if she could just take away her heart and toss it to the cold waters of the river then it would be turned into stone like everything else that falls into that river and so she would feel nothing else but numbness.. like stone feels nothing.. that was how painful she felt..

i myself had already been hurt.. i had already felt what's it like when your heart is breaking into pieces.. and as i look back on those moments, i think i would have said and done what Pilar had said and done.. i believe that almost everyone of us, if not all, had already experienced the pain i'm talking about.. and admit it or not, during those times, we thought we'd rather lose heart and turn it to stone than endure the seemingly endless pain that pierces it..

and afterwards, hoping that we could finally forget..

presently, i have a friend(s) who is hurting though he/she is trying very hard not to show it.. but of course, he/she can't hide it from me.. i hate it when he/she feels pain.. it pains me as well.. "lam mo dear, kung kya ko lang ding kunin ang puso mo at ihulog na lang sa River Piedra para hindi mo na maramdaman yan, ginawa ko na.. but i know you wouldn't want me to do it even if i can.. coz i know you wouldn't want to lose your heart.. would you? i just don't want you to feel that pain anymore.. coz you, more than anyone else, don't deserve it.."

nursing po ang course ko.. and eventually, i would take care of patients until they recover.. sana pala pwede kong iapply ang pagiging nursing student ko sa lahat ng aspeto ng buhay.. i just wish i could detach my friend(s)' heart and nurse its wounds until they heal.. until he/she could no longer feel any pain.. i wish i could, but i couldn't.. no one else can help him/her but his/her self.. all i can do is be there for him/her whenever he/she needs me and whenever i possibly can..

~~~~~~

haaay.. and sad naman yata ng sinulat ko sa taas.. anyway, sana lang talaga matapos na yang sakit na nararamdaman mo.. i know that it will eventually subside.. you'll get over it.. everyone does..

waaaah!!! may pasok na ulit sa tuesday.. tapos na ang sembreak.. nakakalungkot.. hello toxicity na naman ang drama ko nito.. pero somehow masaya rin kasi kita kita na ulit ang mga classmates at ang tropa..

and speaking of tropa.. nagovernight kami kina joy nung friday ng gabi.. ang saya saya! kwentuhan, tawanan, kainan, at iyakan galore! ang sarap talaga dun sa kubo nina joy.. para talaga kaming may sariling bahay.. naglaro pa nga kami na kunwari isang pamilya raw kami na nakatira dun sa bahay kubo na yun.. si sehl ang tatay, si eds ang nanay, si joy ang panganay (asawa niya si dave), ako, si gell, si lors, at si giselle ang iba pang mga anak, at si irvin ang tagasingil ng upa ng bahay namin.. haha.. parang mga bata no? bahay bahayan.. imagine, second year college na kami niyan..hehe..nakakatawa.. minsan talaga ang sarap balikan ng pagkabata..(",)

hindi nga kami natulog magdamag eh.. as in nagkukwehtuhan at nagtatawanan at nagkakainan kami sa kalagitanaan ng gabi.. tas nung mapansin naming medyo nagliliwanag na, bumangon kami at kumain ng lala at blue bay tuna for breakfast na uwi kuno ni tatay russell! hehe.. at ironically, nung mga 6am na, saka kami naghigaan at natulog.. kung kelan umaga na! mga bandang 8am kami gumising, kumain ng tunay na breakfast sa dining area nina joy, at nag-uwian na rin after.. ang saya saya talaga nung experience na yun.. sana maulit yung ganon.. (",)

buti ng at pinayagan me.. first time! dati kasi, hindi talaga me pinapayagang mag-overnight sa house ng friends ko.. medyo overprotective kasi ang parents ko before.. pero buti na lang talaga at pinayagan na 'ko nun kundi i missed half of my life kung nagkataon! sarap maging 18! hehe! (",)

(,") wHaTeVeR tHat pOpS iNtO mY MinD (",)

2004-11-02T03:48:00.000+08:00

dodong scarface...

hindi ko alam kung saan ko narinig o nabasa yang name na yan pero kung may female counterpart siya, ako siguro un..

didang scarface.. o kaya dadang scarface..

yan.. yan ang pwedeng itawag sakin..

bakit kamo? dahil meron akong maliit na hiwa sa kaliwang pisngi ko ngayon..

nung isang araw, magiinternet dapat ako.. yung lalagyan ng PC namin, may dalawang CD racks sa tabi.. na puno ng CD at CD cases.. nalaglag yung headset sa tabi ng PC at biglaan kong pinulot.. napalapit pala ako masyado sa CD rack at napakayod ang kaliwang pisngi ko sa kanto ng isang CD case.. katangahan.. laslas ang kaliwang pisngi ko just below the eye.. ang hapdi..

terrible..

dreadful..

aaargh..

ang masakit pa dun.. tuwing titingin ako sa salamin ay nagsusumigaw sakin ang katangahan ko..
ang saya di ba?

~~~~~~~~

nabago na nga yata ang circadian rhythm o biorythm ko.. sa gabi, hindi ako inaantok at kahit hanggang alas kwatro ng madaling araw eh gising ako.. at sa umaga naman, 11 am na ko gigising.. kakain ng lunch tas tutulog na naman sa hapon hanggang 5 pm.. astig.. parang vampire ito.. makisig..

saya nito sa pasukan.. pahirapan matulog sa gabi at pahirapan namang manatiling gising sa klase.. hanep.. goodluck sakin..

~~~~~~~~

naalala ko lang.. ilang araw bago ako 18th birthday pakiramdam yata ng mga tao eh ikakasal na ako.. thrice nabanggit ang word na "kasal" at once naman ang word na "bride" during the preparation of my birthday party..

1st encounter:
namimigay kami ni sehl ng invitation sa naic.. nang pumunta kami sa shop nina graciel, mother niya ang nandon, si Tita Fe.. inabot ko yung invitation..
ako: Tita Fe, pakibigay po kay gra itong invitation po niya..
Tita Fe: ano ba, ikakasal na ba?
(sabay tawa..(",))

2nd encounter:
binigay ng tito ko yung isang invitation sa friend ng mommy at daddy ko..
tito ko: lito, ito invitation pinapamigay ni mila (mommy ko)..
lito: a, bakit? para saan?
tito ko: a, kasi yung anak niya..
lito: bakit? ikakasal na ba?

3rd encounter:
dumating ang mommy ko, ineexplain yung gagawin nung photo and video na magcocover ng party..
mom ko: anak, pupunta dito yung mga magvivideo ng alas kwatro sa birthday mo..
ako: bakit po? di ba dapat sa venue na sila dumirecho?
mom ko: hindi raw..kukuhan ka pa raw nila dito sa kwarto mo.. para kang ikakasal..

4th encounter:
sa mismong birthday party na po ito.. iiintroduce ng emcee (kuya michael) ang dad ko dahil siya ang una sa 18 roses ko..
kuya michael (emcee): ladies and gentlemen, let us all welcome the father of the bride, Mr. Alexander Arcaira!
ako: *napanganga sa gulat*

haler?! people, 18 pa lang po ako.. hindi 28..(",)

~~~~~~~

nanood kami ng sister ko ng baby geniuses sa sm bacoor nung isang araw.. syempre nag-enjoy ako.. ang cute cute ng mga babies.. at ang galing nilang makipaglaban.. hehe..

sabi dun sa movie, may secret language daw ang mga bata na hindi natin naiintindihan.. sila sila daw nag-uusap pag magkakasama sila at magkakalaro.. kahit it seems like they're just blabbering, may sense daw sa mga babies yun at nagkakaintindihan daw sila dun.. tapos, naiintindihan daw nila yung adult language pero tayo, di natin sila naiintindihan.. ang galing di ba? ang sarap isipin na totoo.. kung totoo sigurong nag-uusap usap sila, parang ang sarap makaintindi ng baby language at pakinggan silang mag-usap.. sana nga totoo no.. malay nga natin?

sabi pa nga nung isang baby dun, the only baby language that adults understand is:
"WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" *crying* *bawling*
to the maximum level!

at ang cute nung isang bidang lalaki dun, si Justin Chatwin..Hehe..(",)

~~~~~~~~

nagbabasa ako ngayon ng book entitled "by the river piedra i sat down and wept" by paulo coelho.. naeenjoy ko siya kasi ang galing nung mga "qoutes" chuva.. basta astig yung mga lines.. share ko dito sa blog ko yung iba some other time.. hindi ko pa rin naman tapos basahin eh..

may pagkafeminist point of view yung aproach nung book.. it talks about a feminine side of God pa nga.. which makes sense i think.. never kong naisip yun before ko mabasa yung book.. but now that i'm reading it, i think its posible nga..(",)

oh my gulay.. tumitilaok na yung manok.. magfo-4am na pala.. malapit nang gumising ang mommy at sister ko.. lagot ako dun pag naabutan niya akong gising at di pa natutulog..

oops..gotta go..(",)

(,") AnG SaYa-SaYa nG 18th BiRtHdAy kO!!! (",)

2004-10-30T01:29:00.000+08:00

ang saya saya ng birthday party ko! at siyempre, ang saya saya ko! salamat sa mga nagwish na maging masaya at maging successful ang party dahil nagdilang anghel kayo.. Everything fell into place and everything happened the way I wanted it to.. actually, even better..(",)

Nasabi ko na 'to sa thank you speech ko sa party pero gusto ko ulit sabihin dito sa blog ko.. Maraming maraming salamat sa lahat ng atong sumuporta, gumabay, at nagmahal sa akin sa loob ng labing walong taon ng buhay ko..Unang una kay GOD na pinagkakautangan ko ng lahat ng meron ako ngayon mula sa buhay ko hanggang sa mga taong nagmamahal sa akin at mahal ko..Pangalawa, siyempre sa pamilya ko most especially sa parents ko na naging sandigan, lakas, at inspirasyon ko sa lahat ng mga ginawa at gagawin ko sa buhay ko.. Mommy and Daddy, kayo po ang buhay ko.. Thirdly, gusto ko ring magpasalamat sa mga taong nagbigay kulay sa aking buhay.. ang aking mga kaibigan.. friends, salamat sa laging pagpapatawa sakin, sa pagtulong sakin pag may problema ako, sa pagmamahal sakin at siyempre sa pagpunta niyong lahat sa party ko.. and last, but definitely not the least, eh dun sa mga naging dahilan para maisakatuparan ang party..kina Lola Inggay, Mommy Noy at lahat lahat ng tumulong at naabala dahil sa party.. Super duper daming THANKS sa inyong lahat! Mahal na mahal ko kayo! (",)

Thanks din sa lahat ng bumati at hindi nakalimot..ito ang mga bumati sa text:

bilog - 11:39:34 pm (october 26 pa to bilog, hehe, napaaga ang bati mo)

joy - 11:54:53 pm (october 26 pa rin, hehe, kulang ng 6 mins)

nikz - 12:00:43 am

eddison - 12:26:54 am

lors/alexis - 12:39:49am

dangell - 02:07:12am

berna - 06:38:18am

puso - 07:29:53am

tita Anne - 07:48:55am

tito Resty - 08:15:00am

best_eds (called) - 09:05:00am

harold - 09:10:51am

lovelyn - 09:12:53am

shane - 09:23:32am

ralph - 09:32:13am

ivy - 09:34:10am

ma'am May - 10:01:21am

ice - 10:07:28am

karla - 12:36:39pm

edrian - 12:39:34pm sa kanila, 09:39:34am dito satin

mga bumati sa blog:

sehl/gallahad

lors/alexis

aye reece/dyosa

geri

and the rest, sa personal na bumati..nang magkitakita kami sa party ko.. may iba pa na nag-greet din sa text kaso di ko na naisulat kasi bandang hapon na sila bumati at nasa parlor na ko nun, nagpeprepare for the party..hehe..anyway, maraming thank you talaga sa lahat ng nag-greet at nakaalala..(",)

super daming thanks din sa lahat ng nagpunta sa debut ko.. ang saya saya ko dahil nandon kayong lahat.. kumpleto ang 18 roses at 18 treasures.. sa 18 candles, isa lang ang wala.. at medyo nagtatampo talaga ako sa kanya ngayon.. anyway, masaya pa rin! as in sobrang thank you talaga! (",)

Nauna ang program, na medyo nadelay ng konti dahil hinintay na makumpleto ang 18 chuvas.. 7:30 na nagstart ang dapat ay 6:00..hehe..what's new? Filipino time..wala na tayong magagawa..

After ng program, siyempre kainan..good chow ang lahat at sabi nila masarap daw ang food..na hindi ko natikman sa sobrang busy at takot na baka lumaki ang tummy ko..hehe..sa dami ng handa ko, spaghetti lang na hindi ko pa naubos ang natikman ko..pero ok lang, basta nakita kong nabusog at nasarapan ang mga bisita ko, busog na rin ako..hehe..(",)

After ng kainan, continuation ng program..maraming salamat kina russell, joy, at dangell for rendering me a very special dance number..idol ko talaga kayong sumayaw..love u guys! (",)

At after ng program, nag-uwian na ang mga matatanda at kabataan na lang ang natira..sayawan, inuman, kantahan, tawanan, at kwentuhan galore! astig talaga kasi andami namin.. Mostly, highschool friends.. Nun na lang ulit kami nakumpleto ng ganon.. ang saya saya ko talaga.. sabi nga ni ivy, instant reunion din daw ang party ko.. sayang nga kasi hindi nakaatend yung iba pa naming kabatch.. sarap talagang kasama ng old friends.. at masaya talaga ako dahil nakaatend silang lahat..(",)

Bukod sa old friends ay meron din kaming new found friend nung gabing yun.. si ejhay, ka-synergy ng bestfriend kong si russell.. astig siya.. sa una tahimik, pero makulit pala.. madali siyang nakahalubilo sa tropa kahit nung gabing yun lang namin siya nameet.. galing niya sumayaw..cute pa! hehe..(",)

Nang mapagod na kami sa sayawan, naupo na lang kami, gumawa ng circle, at naglaro na lang ng Bart Simpson (courtesy of ejhay).. ang saya ng laro.. kung sino ang hindi makapagbigay ng example ay pipili kung truth or consequence.. andaming pinagawa sa mga nataya.. sina eds at sehl, nadare na magkiss na prepaid card at coin lang ang pagitan.. si jepay kinantahan si jammy, si dangell nagsayaw ng baligtad na otso-otso.. si ejhay napasayaw ng spaghetti, natanong ng tatlong nakakabiglang mga tanong, at read this: sinayaw niya ko! hehe! (",)

2:00 am na kami nagkatapos.. nagpapack-up na nga sa Ceferina nung mga oras na yun pero wala kaming pakialam.. tuloy ang laro.. namalayan na lang namin na madilim na pala, wala nang sounds, wala nang aircon, at tinawag na kami ng mommy ko.. tapos hinatid namin isa-isa lahat ng friends ko sa kani-kanilang mga bahay.. kahit nasa van na, kulitan pa rin kami.. sobrang saya talaga! ang isang part lang na medyo sad, nawalan ng fone si ice.. buti na lang hindi naman nagalit ang mom niya..

4:00 am na ko nakauwi sa bahay.. gising na yung kapatid ko dahil may field trip siya samantalang ako, di pa natutulog.. pero I don't mind coz I'm so busy being happy and enjoying the night with my friends to think about sleeping.. that night was the happiest and most memorable night of my life so far.. my 18th birthday was the best!

Pero naturally, pag higa ko sa kama, tulog ako agad.. at 12pm na ko kinabukasan nagising.. tas saka pa lang ako nagbukas ng gifts.. salamat sa lahat ng gifts.. promise, highly appreciated lahat yun..(",)

Kung may nakalimutan pa me ikwento, sa next post ko na lang ikukwento kasi ang haba na nito..at pasado alas dos na ng umaga..hehe.. ay, may naalala ako.. si bilog nga pala, tinamaan ng sobra kay ejhay! hehe!

Haaaay...Super duper daming thank you to the maximum level sa inyong lahat!!! I love you all!! (",)

(,") VaRiEd eMoTiOnS (",)

2004-10-25T01:02:00.000+08:00

ilang araw din me hindi nakapagpost..kaya siguro isa-isahin ko lahat ng naging feelings ko lately..

1. Happiness
lagi naman akong masaya.. extra happy lang siguro ngayon.. dami kasing nangyari, nangyayari, at mangyayari pa.. nakakatuwa lang.. basta masaya ako.. and I really feel so blessed.. at nga pala, nagpagupit kasi ako kahapon.. mahaba pa rin pero may nagbago yata sa kahitsurahan ko..(",)

2. Weariness/Pagod
hindi ko alam kung feeling to pero basta pakiramdam ko talaga eh sobrang pagod ako lately.. nung friday, nagpunta kami ni mommy sa glorietta.. bumili kami ng damit.. at limang oras kaming naglakad lakad sa mall.. sobrang sakit sa paa.. kawawa nga mommy ko eh.. kasi nagdrive pa siya pauwi.. nung saturday naman, inikot namin ni sehl ang buong tanza, naic, at maragondon para mamigay ng invitation.. sobrang init.. kapagod.. at kahapon naman, nagpunta kaming buong pamilya sa festival mall at ATC.. at another 5 hrs na naman kaming naglakad.. what is pagod talaga.. buti ngayong araw na to medyo nakapagpahinga me.. ay kahapon na pala yun kasi past 12 na ng gabi.. nag-internet, nanood ng tv, at natulog lang ako maghapon.. at least nakapagpahinga ng konti..(",)

3. Excitement
La lang.. Excited na ko sa wednesday! or should I say, bukas? hehe! (",)

4. Sadness
ito ay isang feeling na wala dapat sa vocabulary ko nowadays.. parang walang dahilan dapat para malungkot.. yet, may isang bagay na medyo nakakapagpa-sad sakin lately.. slight lang naman.. still, it makes me upset.. sana mawala na.. (",)

5. Pain
it's really surprising how things work in mysterious ways.. kakapost ko lang na madali akong masaktan and it served as a go signal yata para masaktan nga ako.. hindi siya big deal.. coz its not naman the pain that you feel when you break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend or had a fight with your good friend or lost someone so dear to you.. hindi ganon.. simpleng pain lang.. yung tipong wala kang kamalay malay na mararamdaman mo pala.. it happened I think two days ago.. I was surfing the net nang bigla na lang, whapak! na-hurt ako.. malamang sa nakita/nabasa ko di ba? and as a result..

6. Irritation/Annoyance/Pagka-asar/Pag-kainis
ayan.. basically, yan ang immediate reaction ko after ko maramdaman yung # 5.. nairita, nainis, naasar.. wala na rin naman me nagawa.. nag-isip na lang at huminga ng malalim.. anyway, it happened many times before na rin naman eh.. tsaka tapos na yun.. hindi na ko asar ngayon.. hehe.. (",)

ganyan lang daw talaga ang buhay.. kelangan balanced lagi.. may konting tawa, iyak, at galit.. para hindi boring.. ang imporatante, marunong tayong maghandle ng emotions natin.. dapat lagi nating tandaan na feelings natin yun at kung ano man yung naramdaman natin, karapatan natin yun.. (",)

(,") aNg "FiNgEr PrIcK" nG bUhAy (",)

2004-10-20T21:21:00.000+08:00

haaay..medyo naging busy ako lately..alis kami ng alis nina mommy tsaka medyo nagsunod sunod din ang lakad ng tropa..

kanina nagpunta kami ni mommy sa sm..kumain muna kami tas iniwan niya ako sa dermclinic dahil nagsimba siya sa baclaran..at anong ginawa ko sa dermclinic? nagpafacial ako! yep, you read it right, nagpafacial ako! Harhar! at pucha, ang sakit! oo na, OA kung OA pero nasaktan talaga ako..pero siguro kasi ang iksi lang talaga ng pain treshold at pain tolerance ko..madali akong masaktan..physically ang emotionally na rin..

natatandaan ko last sem, kinailangan naming magprick ng finger para sa microbiology class namin..kailangan kasi ng blood sample ng bawat isa sa amin..the night before that, nagbasa ako ng laboratory manual at nang malaman kong magfifinger prick kami the next day, naisip kong wag na lang pumasok..ganon ako katakot masaktan..pero siyempre hindi naman pwedeng hindi pumasok kasi isa yun sa mga tinuturing naming major subjects dahil kailangan siyang ipasa kundi madedelay kami ng isang taon..

pag-upo ko pa lang sa upuan ko sa loob ng classroom, kumabog na agad ang dibdib ko..naiisip ko kasi na masasaktan ako at masusugatan any minute then..kinontrata ko na agad si lors na maging partner ko kahit sa kabilang side pa siya ng table nakaupo..feeling ko kasi mas komportableng magpaprick sa taong matagal mo nang kakilala at isa pa sa pinakamalalapit mong kaibigan..feeling ko mas less yung pain na mararamdaman ko pag ganon..

ayan na..magpprick na kami..hindi naman ako umiyak or nagsisigaw or hinimatay..OA yun masyado..pumikit lang ako ng madiin na madiin at nagdasal ng "Ama Namin" habang hinihintay ang masakit na paglapat ng maliit ngunit matulis na lancet sa munti kong daliri.."bilisan mo yung pagtusok lors ha? Yung sobrang bilis!".."ouch!"..tapos na..ansakit! ansakit! dagdagan mo pa ng paglalagay ng bulak na may alcohol..pag hindi naman napaluha ka sa sakit..piniga ang daliri..naglagay ng dalawang patak ng dugo sa slide at nilagyan ulit ng bulak ang sugat..isipin mo naman, para sa dalawang patak ng dugo eh masasaktan ka ng ganon? injustice!

tapos siya naman ang pnrick ko..cool lang siya..walang pag-aalinlangang binigay ang daliri niya at medyo nagulat lang ng maprick ko na siya..Astig! antapang!

after non, kahit kinailangan pa naming magprick ulit, di na ko nagpaprick..naramdaman ko na kasi yung sakit tas magpapaprick pa ulit ako? parang tinorture ko naman sarili ko non..ambait ni lors..tatlong beses pa yata siya napaulit ulit na nagpaprick at binigyan na lang niya ako ng dugo niya..hehe..ayoko na kasi talaga..eventually nawala rin naman yung sakit..saya..kaya lang kinailangan ulit naming magprick para sa isa pa naming klase kaya pinagdaanan ko na naman yung mga yon..at alam kong marami pa akong pagdadaanang physical pain sa course ko..injection for example..which is next sem na..huhu..God help me!

i hate feeling pain..actually, takot ako sa pain..physically or emotionally man yan..kaya lang minsan hindi maiwasan eh..kahit ayaw mo, dumarating..kahit ayaw mo, kailangan..wala ka nang magagawa kundi kayanin na lang..maging strong..harapin at lagpasan..pag nasasaktan, iyak lang..mawawala rin yan..ganon lang naman lagi eh..parang finger prick lang din ang emotional pain..sa una takot kang maramdaman..pero kahit takot ka, papasukin mo pa rin..itatry mo pa rin..gagawin mo pa rin..at pag nasaktan ka na, aaray ka na lang..o iiyak..hanggat gusto mo..hanggat kaya mo..minsan ang mga kaibigan parang yung bulak, tutulungan kang pigilin ang pagdudugo at hilumin ang sugat..at eventually, mawawala rin ang sakit..kahit gaano katagal pa man ang abutin, magsusubside rin ang pain..para maging handa ka nang tahakin ang mga susunod pang "sakit" sa buhay mo..na kahit takot ka, susuungin mo pa rin kasi alam mong parte yun ng buhay..at alam mong matatapos din..(",)

(,") LyRiCs AnD pIcs (",)

2004-10-19T15:50:00.000+08:00

Just wanna share a picture of me and my pretty sister..

hehe..ang cute talaga namin..kaya lang medyo madilim..gabi kasi nang kuhanan 'to..birthday party ng Lola Tessie namin, kapatid ng Lolo namin..(",)

~~~~~~

Never pa akong nakapagpost ng lysics sa blog ko kaya eto magpopost me ngayon..Isa sa mga kantang gustong gusto kong pinakikinggan nowadays..Bukod kasi sa maganda ang lyrics eh maganda rin ang melody niya..Tapos acoustic pa kaya masarap talagang pakinggan..(",)

Falling

[verse one]

I wanna tell you baby that you're the one I'm thinking of

But your heart is still with her and I think she's the one you love

I only want you happy even if it's not with me

Maybe one day you'll open up your eyes and you'll see.....

[ChOrUs]

That I think I'm falling

Maybe I'm falling for you

Yeah, I think I'm falling,

Baby I think I'm falling for you

[verse two]

From the first time you laid your lips on mine

It feels like the smile on my face

Will last til the end of time

But I’m not so sure that you're the one that I should pursue

My mind tells me no, but my heart only says that it's you

[ChOrUs]

That I think I'm falling

Maybe I'm falling for you

Yeah, I think I'm falling

Baby I'm falling for you

[bridge]

Only time will tell

The mystery has yet to unfold

Who's going to feel love's warmth

And the other left in the cold..

[ChOrUs]

Yet still I'm falling

Maybe I'm falling for you

Yeah, I think I'm falling

Baby I think I'm falling for you

(,") fEeLiNgS oF gRaTiTuDe (",)

2004-10-18T22:14:00.001+08:00

I just remembered that my parents made me cry just a few days ago..cry of happiness and feeling of being so lucky, that is..i really can't understand why is it that when it comes to my parents, my heart becomes so soft that one touch of their soothing voices can make it bleed..then after a split second, the feeling will radiate into my eyes and tears will involuntarily fall no matter how hard I try to hold them back..yes, i admit that I'm really quite a crybaby and I easily weep when I'm touched, hurt, or even angry..but usually, I can contain my tears and control my feelings..especially when it is not proper or when I'm ashamed to show them out..but when it comes to my parents, my controlling attempts are all futile..it's like they have complete access to my heart, my feelings, my emotions, and my reactions..

Recently, my mom and I has been spending more time together since I'm on vacation..and usually, we tend to talk about my dad and my siblings, about how things went at school, about how we overcome the problems and trials that pass by our life, and about her childhood..during the course of the conversation, there came a point when she narrated all the difficult times she experienced when she was my age and all the hardships she went through just to finish her studies..and me? I listened closely and all of a sudden I started crying..because it pains me so much to listen to what my mother went through..I felt that if I could just turn back time and return my mom to her teenage life, I would sacrifice everything I have now for her to have it..

A few weeks ago, whenever I find out that we are experiencing problems within the family, I get depressed..especially when I think that the bulk of the burden was being carried mostly by my parents..i hate it when they suffer..they, of all people, don't deserve it..they're the best parents in the world..nevertheless, i can't help but admire the way they handle the problems..they get sad once a while, but they remain strong..especially with God's help..whenever hardships arise, my parents prefer to keep it themselves..Why? because they don't want us sad..they don't want us hurt..and they don't want us feeling hopeless..because they know, that with God's gracious helping hand, there is still hope..

While my mother was telling me how we clung on to God and how we overcame those problems, I tried sa hard to contain my tears and smile..but still, I failed..tears started trickling down my face while I silently wept..my mom looked away and as I looked at her, I saw a tear crawl down her cheeks while she smiled sweetly and hugged me..I hate it when my parents cry, the feeling is indescribable..i feel that i want to shelter them and shield them from all the pain in the world so as they would experience nothing but happiness..

I know we all feel this way about our parents..bottomline line is, I just want everyone to know that I'm so blessed to have my parents..we all are..they are the greatest gift God has ever given to us..they are the living proof of His undying and unconditional love for all of us..

Now I know the answer to my query at the start of this post about why my parents can easily make me cry..It's because they, along with God, occupy the biggest and deepest part of my heart..It's because they're a part of me and I'm a part of them..And it's because I love them so much..

(,") ThE eViL tEsT (",)

2004-10-17T21:19:00.000+08:00

I just took the evil test earlier this day and this was the shocking result..

I am 39% evil.

I could go either way. I have sinned quite a bit but I still have a bit of room for error. My life is a tug of war between good and evil.

Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com

hehe..39% evil..yeah, i guess i really have a bit of evil in me..harhar..a little naughty maybe, but not that bad..(",)

(,") MaSaYa AnG PaRtY (",)

2004-10-16T22:52:00.000+08:00

birthday ni ian giselle kagabi..

alas dose na ako nakauwi..

nalasing ako..

hindi ako nakatulog..sobrang sakit at bigat ng ulo ko..

kinabukasan..hang-over..puyat..sakit ng ulo..karma..harhar..(",)

ang saya ng party sobra..marami rami rin ang dumating..ako, sehl, eds, bilog, ice, gell, shane, puso, lovelyn, jam, zeus, at germain sa batchmates..kambal, lorenz, yen-yen, tan-tan, atbp, sa schoolmates..

dumaan muna kami sa dati naming Alma Mater bago kami pumunta kina ian..dumalaw at nakipagkwentuhan..pampalipas din ng oras kasi 1 pm pa lang nandon na kami eh gabi pa pala party ni ian..nakita ko yung dati kong crush na 3rd year..at dahil don, hindi ko na talaga siya crush..hehe..(",)

pagdating namin kina ian, nagkwentuhan muna kami..tas maya-maya kumain..tas nagkantahan..tas nag-inuman habang nagkukwentuhan at nagkakantahan..hindi naman lahat kami uminom..ilan lang din..ayaw kasi talaga nung iba eh..

maya-maya tinatamaan na mga tao..dami na sumisigaw at mas humataw ang mga kumakanta..wala na nga yatang pakialam sa ibang bisita..feeling yata namin eh kami lang ang nagrent nung videoke machine..kanya kanyang kanta ng senti songs para ilabas ang mga hinanakit sa buhay..walang takot magsalita..hihirit ng pasigaw sabay tawa..harhar! ang saya talaga..hanggang uwian ganon kami..anlalakas ng loob ng mga tao..saya talaga pag lasing..guts galore..hehe..(",)

halos pitong bote yata ng san mig pale pilsen ang nainom ko at mahigit dalawampung beses yata akong bumisita sa banyo..diuretic kasi ang beer, pag umiinom ka, ang tendency mapaihi ka ng mapaihi..lalo pa ko..overfunctional yata kasi ang kidneys ko eh..OA magproduce ng urine kumbaga..

pag-uwi ko, nag-ayos lang ako ng katawan tas humiga na ako agad..ambigat ng ulo ko, hindi ko na talaga maiangat nang ihiga ko na siya sa unan..naturally, nakatulog ako agad..kaso nagising ako ng alas dos..at anak ng tipaklong ang sakit ng ulo ko! di na ko makatulog..bumangon ako, naghilamos uli, uminom ng isang basong tubig sa humiga uli..wa epek..sakit pa rin..pinikit ko na lang ang mga mata ko pero gising ang diwa ko..napapaidlip ako ng saglit pero nagigising din agad..at yung saglit na saglit na idlip na yun ay hitik na hitik sa panaginip..kaya parang di rin ako nakatulog..sa dami nga ng napanaginipan ko, din ko na madistinguish kung alin ba ang totoong nangyari at alin ang panaginip lang..mga 6 na siguro ako TOTOONG nakatulog dahil unti-unti na ring humupa ang sakit ng ulo ko non..kaya lang ginising ako ng 8 dahil pupunta kaming dasma..magpapatherapy ang Lola ko..at since hindi dapat magpahalata na nalasing ako kagabi, hindi ako nakatanggi..kaya..

puyat..sakit ng ulo..sakit ng mata..karma..hehe..(",)

),= WhAt HuRtS.. =,(

2004-10-13T16:21:00.000+08:00

Nagbukas ako ng friendster account ko kanina at nakita ko itong message na ito na nakapost sa bulletin board..Binasa ko and in the end, I can't help but agree..Share ko lang..(",)

Para meron ding kadramahan sa blog ko..Hehe..(",)

What Hurts...

:: letting go of a person you've just learned to love

:: reminiscing the good times u shared together

:: shielding your heart to love somebody

:: trying to hide what you really feel

:: trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from your eyes

:: loving a person too much

:: giving up someone you never thought of giving up

:: having the right love at the wrong time

:: taking the risk to fall in love again

:: hiding your relationship from someone else

:: controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend

:: thinking of him/her every waking and sleeping moment knowing all the while that he/she never even thinks a single thought of you...

:: letting go, because every time you see the person, you only fall deeper

:: holding back only to find out when it's too late, you both felt the same way, but were only scared to lose each other so much that you didn't let the feelings out

:: falling in love with someone you didn’t mean to fall in love with

:: finding the perfect guy/girl...with only one problem....he/she doesn’t love you...

:: helping the one you love court your friend

:: seeing the one you love crying for someone else

:: the waiting also hurts like hell:: having to hear "... I've met someone"

:: agreeing to him/her wish to 'just be friends'.

:: asking his/her freedom back because she'd be happier with her/him

:: asking you to 'forget that everything happened' and be 'normal' friends again.

:: hearing that you're treated as a big bro/sis (ouch!)

:: sharing his/her future plans for the girl/guy with you.

:: you stopped being friends because his/her gf/bf asked him/her to.

:: being denied in front of people.

:: telling you lies where he’d/she'd been, when actually, she was with a 'new friend' or an 'old flame' (whew!)

:: he/she told you he’d/she'd be leaving you to return to her ex (the one he/she left 4 u!)

:: breaking someone's heart

:: fighting for that one thing that would make you happy

:: that is, holding on to a person who can not guarantee you his/her commitment unless he/she fixed himself/herself...then, you are left hanging for the moment...then he/she says, time will tell... but you still decided to hope in him/her and trust him/her

:: PRETENDING you're OK when inside you're dying...

:: PRETENDING to be strong.... and RECOGNIZING your weakness

:: lying in bed each night, thinking of that special person you can never have...

:: being with someone you can't actually love...

:: pretending you don't love a person whom you actually love...

:: being in love...

:: letting go even if you really don't want to... having no right to say you are hurting, because it was your decision

:: seeing the person you love hurt because of you... and not being able to help that person...

:: having the courage to say I LOVE YOU to the person you love and finding out afterwards that things will never be the same again when he/she doesn’t treat you with the same closeness as before

:: having to face the fact that someone is capable of completely destroying the wall that you have set for yourself, leaving you weak and vulnerable

:: admitting that you love someone despite her/his imperfections

:: finding out that the more you try to hate her/him, the more you end up loving her/him, perhaps even more than before...

:: realizing how stupid your mistakes were that led to your break-up.

:: the thought that this girl/guy, used to really love you and you loved her/him as well but you didn't give enough and she/he gave up on you

:: Sharing the one you love with SOMEBODY else....."

:: making a promise....and realizing that when the time has come for that promise to be delivered....the commitment is no longer there...

:: the hardest thing about love - believing it exists.

After you've been hurt...
...learn to forgive...
...learn to trust and love again...

(,") I'm BoReD... (",)

2004-10-13T14:40:00.000+08:00

Haaayy..Wala na naman akong magawa..Wala na naman akong kasama sa bahay kundi ang Lola kong natutulog..Nasa school mga kapatid ko..Nasa work ang Daddy ko at nagsimba sa Baclaran ang Mommy ko..Gusto ko sanang sumama kaya lang wala raw maiiwan sa Lola ko kaya hindi na ko pinasama ng Mommy ko..

Naglaro ako ng playstation (Suikoden II) mula kaninang 10:00 hanggang 2:30..Kung hindi pa siguro yun nagloko, hindi ako titigil..Nung hinipo ko yung playstation, umaapoy sa init..Hehe..OA..Pero sobrang init na niya talaga..Linchak naman kasing Suikoden II yan, 23 hrs ko nang nilalaro, hindi parin tapos..Samantalang yung kapatid kong si Xam, natapos niya ang Suikoden I in 20 hrs..Maligalig kasi akong maglaro eh..Paikot ikot..

Tnatry ko pa ring ayusin yung pix ko dito sa blog ko..Kaya lang, my efforts are futile..Naks ang drama..Bakit naman kasi ayaw maging opaque ng pix ko? Grrr..Nagmumukha rin tuloy background pic eh..Sana naman ay maghimala at maayos ko siya..Haaay...

I'm bored..Actually, namimiss ko na ang school..ang UPCN..ang friends ko..ang rob..ang gbox..ang moviehouse..ang manila..pati nga family ko namimiss ko rin kahit nandito ako..
Ambilis no? Tatatlong araw pa lang akong nagbabakasyon namimiss ko na sila agad..Ang hirap kasi ng walang ginagawa eh..Pero don't get me wrong..masaya pa rin ako dahil sembreak..As in..Pero nabobore lang talaga me minsan..Lalo pa't wala rin naman ang buong family ko dito sa bahay..

Haaay..Ano kayang magawa for the rest of the vacation? Hmmm..(",)

(,") nAiiNiS aKo..HaAaAy.. (",)

2004-10-12T23:47:00.000+08:00

Naiinis ako..Hindi ko maayos yung pic ko..Haaay..Bakit ba pati yung pic ko nagiging transparent/translucent whatever? Nakakainis talaga..Mukha tuloy akong may mga tatoo sa mukha..Huhu..Pano ko kaya maayos to? Kapag ako nainis at hindi ko siya naayos hanggang bukas, idedelete ko na lang..Sayang naman..Pinag-aralan at pinag-isipan ko pa naman kung paano ako makakapagpost ng pic sa blog ko..

Haaay..Naaadict na nga yata ako sa pagbblog..Puro na lang yata ito ang inatupag ko sa unang dalawang araw ng bakasyon ko..Nakadalawang internet card na nga agad ako sa loob ng mahigit dalawang araw..Tsk tsk..Magastos ito..Siguradong papagalitan ako ng Daddy ko pag nagpabili na naman ako ng internet card sa kanya..Haaaay..

Hindi lang naman ako eh..Yung dalawang kapatid ko kasi adict din sa net..Haaay...

Napapagod na akong mag-ayos ng lay-out ng blog na to..Marami rami na rin siguro akong nadagdag at naayos..Pero feeling ko kulang pa rin..Feeling ko hindi ako makukuntento kahit kelan..Andami ko pa kasing gustong gawin eh..Pero pag-aaralan ko pa kung paano kaya medyo mahirap at matagal..Haaaay..

Pansin niyo puro ako buntong hininga? Actually naghihikab lang ako..Antok na kasi ako eh..Gabi na kasi..Este, umaga na pala kasi pasado alas dose na..Haaaay..Antok na talaga ako..Bukas na lang uli..Paubos na naman internet card ko..(",)

(,") NaGtRy LaNg Me MaGpOsT Ng Pic (",)

2004-10-12T23:28:00.000+08:00

ang ganda ko! Hehe!

Trial lang ito..Hehe..Buti gumana..Pix ko from my Mom's fone..(",)

hmp..hindi ko talaga maayos ang mga pix kya dagdagan ko na lang! hehehe!

Pictures ko from my kuya A's wedding..Hehe..(",)

pics ko nung highschool ako..har har..(",)

pasensya na po..puro pics ko..maguupload pa po me ng iba eh..anyway, blog ko naman to..hehe..(",)

(,") CoNs oF bEiNg On VaCaTiOn (",)

2004-10-12T21:08:00.000+08:00

Sarap talaga kapag sembreak..Walang ginawa kundi kumain..matulog..maglaro ng playstation..mag-net/mag-blog..manood ng tv..magbasa ng Harry Potter..magmunimuni..kumain ulit..at matulog ulit..(",)

Yun nga lang may extra rin akong ginagawa dito sa bahay tulad ng pag-aalaga sa lola ko, pagliligpit ng plato, at pag-aayos minsan ng bahay..Pero I don't mind..Wala rin naman me ginagawa eh..Basta masaya ako kasi sembreak na..(",)

Nakakatawa nga eh..Araw-araw, gigising ang Mommy ko ng maaga..Mga 5:00 para gisingin ang kapatid kong si Alexa, magluto ng agahan niya, at painumin ang lola ko ng milo dahil baka mag-hyploglycemia..Maliligo si Alexa, magbibihis, kakain at susunduin ng school bus niya ng mga 6:00 kasi 7:00 ang klase niya at sa kabundukan pa ang school niya..Pagdating naman ng 7:00, ang kapatid kong si Xam naman ang gigisingin ng Mommy ko para pumasok sa school niya na isang kanto lang ang layo sa bahay namin..Talk about extremes..Astig ang mga kapatid ko no? Mommy namin ang alarm clock..Hehe..Kasi ang hirap gisingin ng mga kapatid ko..Kung ordinaryong alarm clock lang, tutulugan lang nila uli..Kaya ang alarm clock nila eh yung namamalo at naninigaw pag hindi sila agad bumangon..Hehe..(",) Anyway, pag-alis ng kapatid kong si Xam ng mga 8:00 (8:00 ang class niya ha..), daddy ko naman ang magpeprepare para pumunta sa work niya..Mga 9:30 alis niya..So bago pa man matapos ang umaga, ako, si Mommy, at si Lola na lang ang matitira sa bahay..Tapos after lunch, Mommy ko naman ang aalis dahil may inaasikaso rin sa work niya..Maiiwan ako at ang Lola ko..Pero minsan lang naman umaalis ang Mommy ko..Madalas kaming tatlo ang nagchichikahan dito sa bahay maghapon..(",)

Nakakatuwa lang kasi ngayon ko lang naobserbahan ang daily routine dito sa bahay..Kasi naman pag may pasok, isang linggo akong nasa Manila at weekends lang ako umuuwi dito..Eh kapag weekends kumpleto ang pamilya dahil walang work at walang school..Napansin ko lang kanina na, I have never seen the house so quiet..Kami lang kasi ng Lola ko ang nandito kanina..Eh babahagya nang magsalita yun..Naisip ko tuloy, ang lungkot pala ng bahay 'pag weekdays..Naisip ko rin tuloy, baka madali akong mabagot ngayong sembreak..Ang haba kasi ng bakasyon eh..Almost 1 month..Masaya sana kung bakasyon din ang mga kapatid ko at ang parents ko para kumpleto ang family..Kaya lang hindi eh..How sad.. :-(

Haaaay..Kailangan ko na lang talaga sigurong ienjoy yung sembreak kahit wala yung ibang members of the family..Anyway nagstart naman silang dumating isa-isa by 5:00 pm..At kumpleto na kami by 6:00 pm..May bonus pa kasi nagpupunta rin dito ang tito at mga pinsan ko sa gabi..Masaya na ulit..Hehe..(",)

(,") FoR AnYoNe WhO wAnTs A gOoD LaUgH (",)

2004-10-11T22:23:00.000+08:00

Nagbabasa ako ng e-mails ko kanina nang mabasa ko ang message na ito na nagpasaya talaga sakin ng todo ngayong araw na ito..I don't know if its just me o talagang sobrang nakakatawa ang mga lines na ito..Share ko lang coz I think everyone deserves a good laugh..Haha! Lol!

Siguro kung maririnig ko 'tong mga statements or questions na 'to from someone I know, kahit siguro gaano ko siya kamahal eh hahagalpakan ko siya ng tawa..Hehe..Sama ko talaga..(",)
Galing 'tong message na 'to sa blockmate ko, sinend niya sa yahoogroup namin..Nilagyan ko lang ng comment yung iba..Hehe..Enjoy! (",)

1. I couldn't care a damn!
[Pinagsama niya ang "I don't care" at " I don't give a damn"..Nalito siguro siya kung alin sa dalawa ang sasabihin niya..Haha..(",)]

2. What's your next class before this?
[eto naman siguradong yung kausap niya ang nalito..napanganga na lang siguro yun..(",)]

3. Nothing in this world is perfect except the word "change".
[You mean "permanent"..Nalito lang siya..It's ok yo be confused sometimes lalo pa't parehong sa "P" nagsisimula di ba..Hehe..(",)]

4. Can you repeat that for the second time around once more from the top?
(Translation: ulitin natin hanggang mamatay tayo!)
[Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!]

5. My dad brought home a lot of hand-me-downs!
(Translation: Daming pasalubong ng tatay ko.)

6. Standard and Chartered Bank

7. I'm very iterated!!!
(Transalation: galit sya!)
[umiwas ka na lang..galit na galit talaga siya! He's very ITERATED!!]

8. I'm sorry, my boss just passed away.
(Translation: kakadaan lang ng boss nya.)
[Hanep to..Patayin ba ang boss niya?!? Haler?!?]

9. Hello, my boss is out of town. Would you like to wait?
[Kung ako ang kausap nito, maiiyak na lang ako..]

10. What happened after the erection of Mayon Volcano?
[Hanep to the maximum level! ERECTION of Mayon Volcano?! ERECTION?! Bwahahahaha!!]

11. Don't touch me not!
[Translation: Huwag mo akong hindi hahawakan..In short, hawakan mo ako..hehe..]

12. Hello?... For a while, please hang yourself...
[Ano raw?! Magbigti raw ako?! Bwahahahahaha!]

13. Its spilled milk under the bridge.
[Huuwaaat?!?]

14. Don't change anything! Keep it at ease.

15. Hello McDo? Mag-i-inquire lang ako kung magkano ang kidney meal? yung pambatang pagkain.
[Bwahahahaha! KIDNEY meal?! Ano ka aswang?!]

16. You!!! You're not a boy anymore! You're a man anymore!
[Oooohkaaaay.....]

17. Out of fit ako these days eh...
(Translation: di sya nakakapag-exercise)

18. Come, lets join us!
[Translation: Halika, sama tayo sa amin..Hanep..Lufet no?]

19. Bring down the house down!
[Oo nga naman..Alangan nga namang "bring UP the house down" di ba?]

20. I'm the world champion of the World!!!
[Pasaway ito..Sakit sa ulo..Oo na, champion ka na ng buong mundo at ng iba pang mundo..Haha!]

Di ba ang saya..Grabe sarap mabuhay..(",)

(,") AnG SaYa-SaYa Ko! SeMbReAk Na! (",)

2004-10-11T22:10:00.000+08:00

Bakit ako nagboblog ngayon? Isipin mo naman, 20 yrs after my last blog entry eh ngayon na lang ulit ako makakapagpost..Hehe..Bakit nga ba?

Hmmm..Kasi ang daming magagandang nangyayari lately sa buhay ko na kahit mababaw siguro para sa iba eh big deal para sakin..Hehe..To name a few:

1. Sembreak na!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I'm sure hindi lang ako ang masaya dito!) (",)

2. Exempted ako sa finals sa N10, sa biochem, sa microbiology, sa parasitology, at sa N4-Pathophysiology!!!!!! Akalain mo yun?!? (Hindi ako nagyayabang ok, masaya lang talaga ako kaya pagbigyan niyo na…Anyway, blog ko naman to!!!! Hehe..(",) )
bad news: mukhang uulit ako ng Histo II dahil SOBRANG dali ng exam..Sobrang daling ibagsak..Huhu.. ),=
Anyway, masaya pa rin ako!!!!!!!! (",)

3. Friends na kami!!!!!!! Hehe!!!!!!!! (",)

4. Gawa na ang PC naming na ilang buwan ko ring hindi nagamit! Kaya may pag-asa nang makapagblog ako ng mas madalas at hindi once in a blue moon lang… Yahooooo! (",)

5. Nabili ko na yung sandals/slippers na gusto kong bilhin! (",)

6. Medyo marunong na akong magdrums!!! (Oo, hindi pa kagalingan..Pero and importante, marunong na ko kahit slight lang..Hehe..) (",)

7. Makakapaglaro na ako ng playstation (Suikoden II), Ragnarok, at Badminton, makakapanood ng TV hanggang anong oras ko gusto, makakatulog hanggang anong oras ko rin gusto, makakapagnet ng madalas, makakapagbasa ng mga gusto kong libro at hindi puro pang acads lang, makakagala kung kelan ko gusto, at makakasama ko na ang friends ko na matagal tagal ko ring hindi napagkikikita dahil pare-pareho kaming busy! Magagawa ko lahat yan dahil SEMBREAK na!!! Pucha and saya ko!!! (",)

Ayun..Kaya pala ako nagblog..Kasi masaya ako at siyempre, kasi may time na akong magblog..Hehe..(",)
By for now toxicity..Kita na lang ulit tayo next sem..(",)

(,") AnG hIrAp nG eXaM sA MiCrObiO!!! (",)

2004-08-30T15:14:00.000+08:00

Nagexam kami sa microbiology kanina..Pucha ang hirap! For the first time eh pinagsisihan kong nawalan ng pasok last wednesday.. Noon kasi talaga nakaschedule yung exam sa microbiology kaso nga humagupit ang bagyo at nawalan ng pasok.. In other words, nareschedule nga yung exam kanina.. At naunat ang utak ko sa kakaisip kung anong style ng panghuhula ang gagawin ko sa pagsagot kung ano ang sexual at asexual spores nga ascomycota, deuteromycota, zygomycota etc.. etc..

Naalala ko tuloy yung message na sinend ko sa bestfriend ko nung wednesday morning nang malaman kong wlang pasok..

"What is malas nga ba? Ah alam ko na, yung tipong 4:30am ka na natulog sa kaaral para sa exam sa microbiology mamayang 1 pm at gumising ka nga 5:30am dahil may duty ka ng 7am tas bumabagyo kaya kahit bagong paligo ka at fresh na fresh paglabas mo ng bahay ay mukha ka nang basahan pagdating mo sa PGH tas pagdating mo don ay malalaman mong wala palang pasok?!? Meaning wala ring exam! Again, What is malas nga ba?"

Yan..yan ang message na sinend ko sa kanya nung umagang yon dala ng sama ng loob at kabangaggan dahil isang oras lang ang tulog ko.. Tinawagan niya ako bilang reply.. Pinagtawanan ako at sinabing "Di ka naman pala minalas ngayong araw na to.." "Hindi naman masyado..Konti lang(sarcastic ang pagkakasagot ko)..Kayo ba wala ring pasok?" "Papunta na nga kami school ngayon eh..Meron yata..Pro sana wala..(Punong puno ng hope ang tono ng pagkakasabi niya).." Maya maya binaba na namin ang phone.. Pagkatapos naming mag-usap narealize ko, bakit ba 'ko naghihimutok? Ang swerte ko nga kasi wala kaming pasok.. Kahit isang oras lang ako natulog eh meron naman akong maghapon para bumawi ng tulog.. At pag nagising na ko eh pwede pa akong maggala! At higit sa lahat, postponed ang exam sa micro! Ano pa bang mahihiling ko? Hindi pala ako malas ngayon, swerte pa nga!

To make the story short, (kasi ang haba na..) Natulog nga ko nun mula 8 hanggang 1 pm at pumunta kami ni joy sa diliman nung hapon..Kahit bumabagyo at baha sa Espanya eh ang saya pa rin dahil nagkitakita kami nung mga classmates ko nung highschool! Kaya sabi ko sa sarili ko nung gabi non, bakit ba ko naghimutok kaninang umaga? Ang saya ko ngayong araw na to..Walang dahilan para mag-isip na ang malas ko..

At ngayon ko nalaman ang sagot.. Hindi ako nag-aral kahapon para sa exam ngayon, kaninang umaga lang.. Nahasa na naman ang cramming skills ko sa pagsscan ng pagkakapal kapal naming handouts ilang oras bago ang exam.. At ang part na di ko nareview o na-scan man lang: FUNGI.. And guess what, fill in the table at fill in the blanks yung exam about fungi.. Ayun.. Binagay sakin yung test paper na puno ng blanks at pinasa kong puno pa rin ng blanks.. Hindi ko na-fill-in-an in other words.. Kaya pala ako naghihimutok nung wednesday.. Naisip ko tuloy, siguro kung natuloy nun yung exam, baka may nasagot ako kahit papaano.. Ngek! Ewan ko..Hindi rin siguro..

Actually, may isa pang dahilan kung bakit pinagsisihan kong nawalan ng pasok nung araw na yun.. Pero that's another story.. "For a minute there, I thought you were real.." Pagod na kong magtype..(",)

(,") nEw BoRn bLOg (",)

2004-08-27T14:48:00.000+08:00

Ang saya naman! May blog na rin ako..Kaya lang under construction pa..Hehe..Baby pa lang eh..Sana mapaganda ko to..Nang sing ganda ko! Bwahahaha! (",)